A Christmas Present

The wind is blowing paving the way for another storm to arrive sometimes today. About a week ago we had about 8 to 10 inches of snow, which made a mess of things, causing me to have to alter my route to work on my bike for a while, as well as having to ride on ice early in the morning. Now it is all melted as warmer air came in along with rain. But it seems the rain will turn to snow again and possibly more mess on the ground for a while. Yet, within it all, I just kept going through it, including all the holiday mess that has been going on which pretty much ends today as people open their presents, sit back with some hot cider or coffee and let go of all the stress that the holidays bring. The holiday traffic also interrupted my normal bike routes to work, with all the traffic. I had to be more careful riding through the holiday traffic than on the ice early in the morning.

But the holidays are basically over, with only the ringing in of the New Year to come. The holidays ended for me a couple of days ago when my days off arrived with included today, Christmas Day, where I sit here early in the morning, sipping a cup of coffee, listening to the wind blowing outside and thinking about the amazing Christmas present I received from the Universe.

This present didn’t necessarily arrive on Christmas Day. I receive a present from the Universe each year and sometimes it arrives early and other times a bit later. This time it was very much close to the day, arriving during the week of Christmas.

As with most thing is life, life is simple. It is humans and their misunderstanding of their own conscious awareness that makes things so complex. About a week ago I watched the movie “The Matrix.” Maybe I was subconsciously preparing for the new addition to the franchise that was released this week, “The Matrix Resurrections.”

I really didn’t care much for the new movie, though it had a few good things in it. It seemed forced and I think it was for the Director Lana Wachowski.

In “The Matrix” Morpheus talks with Neo about how he has searched for Morpheus and how Morpheus was searching for Neo. He said that Neo could see that something was wrong when he looked out at life and the society. Well, that’s how I’ve felt all of my life being that I have the ability to view life from a different reality or perspective which possibly comes with my Asperger’s.

Well, earlier this week I was sitting at home relaxing from another crazy day out in the holiday madness, watching something on TV. Suddenly my eyes moved away from the TV and to the blankness of the white wall in back of the TV. I thought, “There it is. The clear path that I’ve been looking for.”

At first I couldn’t name the path. I could only see it. One could call the path a mental path or a psychological path. The truth is, we experience more life from within us that we do outside of us. This leads back to the Tao Te Ching which states that doesn’t have to constantly travel or go other places to explore life. All of life, including the vastness of the Universe, is within us and we can explore and adventure through it all without going anywhere physically.

This is my life. A life that is spent experiencing life in this way, first experiencing it within myself, then expressing that experience in various ways in the physical realm. This process is necessary, at least for me, because it opens up greater expansion within. Expression is as important as the experience itself, because the experience itself can’t come to life without the expression. This is why I’ve always said that writing something always causes it to come to life within me. In a sense, without the expression, what it is that could be expressed then clogs up the processing. Once expressed, it becomes real, is taken from the processing and simple becomes part of the process, rather than something that needs contemplation.

It can now become alive. A living entity within this Universe that is filled with living entities both seen and unseen by the limited vision of human eyesight.

Later I realize what I was seeing in that clear path was nothing other than being able to fully accept myself for who I am. I am a female in a male body who has Asperger’s. I live in an “alternate” reality to most of the rest of the people in the world, being able to see things that they can’t see with their physical eyes, which most people put most or all of their reliance in to define their reality. This is the only difference between me and most people. The fact that my reality comes from within where their reality forms around them, which is actually very frightening because they feel as if they have no control over what his happening to them in their accepted reality.

Yet it is they who are creating the reality around them, all the while pointing fingers at others who they believe caused all of their discomfort in life. Yes, this is the primary cause for complaint in people today who live in societies of wealth and comfort. They complaints come forth when they feel some sense of discomfort.

Through accepting myself unconditionally, well, it caused many other things to happen, such as no longer being a victim of peer pressure. I simply stopped caring what other people think of me and simple express me as I am.

I’ve come to understand who I am a bit better because of this freedom, seeing the female within me as who I truly am and the body I’m within, well, one might say it gives me the opportunity to observe or even spy on what is happening in life today. Yet, within me, I have found that my heart has been teaching me to allow the feminine within me to completely take over within me. She taught me before to not take sides per say in life. Not to choose the masculine or the feminine side but to allow both to express themselves through me.

Well, even so, the masculine is still within me but I can now see that earlier my heart was allowing me to make peace with the masculine within me, which I documented here in this blog many months ago. Now, because I’ve made peace with the masculine, I can now allow myself to be completely immersed in the feminine. This might seem extreme but it is necessary in this time of extremes. We are in a time when the masculine and the feminine have come into conflict within this part of the Universe. The masculine has ruled this part of the Universe for many, many thousands of years. Now the feminine is moving in and during this transition there is much conflict, which we are seeing each and every day.

But one thing that can be see with the human eyes that reveals this transition is the blending of genders within humans. Where more and more humans are finding they are more masculine or feminine within themselves, causing them to, well, in a sort of derogatory way, be called “transsexual.” The fact that humans find it important to catagorize everything is basically the downfall of humanity, though it has allowed humanity to be controlled in many ways, simply by controlling the input into their conscious awareness in relation to how they view themselves in life, even if this means covering over who they truly are.

This brought to mind a way to describe how it is that I can see the beauty in most any woman, no matter what she looks like or even acts like in life. I call it the societal crust. When I look at a person, the first thing I see is the societal crust. Most people have defined their lives in relation to how they are viewed in the society. Yet this is just a crust or mask that people put on. In art, most people seek out from an artist, their vulnerability. The expression of vulnerability is when a person expresses who they are behind the crust.

The way I see them is like looking at a black piece of paper that has little pin holes in it. Behind the paper is the true light of the person. This light shines through the little pinholes. Each person has more or less pinholes in their black sheet of paper. Therefore, for some more beauty shines through their crust and for others less light or beauty comes through. But more pinholes can be added as they go through life and this often is the case in most lives.

When I look at a woman (it can also be seen in men but since I’m here solely to raise the feminine energy in this part of the Universe, men have literally gone into the background in my eyes. Though in men, through these pinholes, I can see how much feminine energy is within them and if they are an “ally” to the cause.

Through this acceptance of myself then led to acceptance of the world in general, even in it’s current state. My heart has said to me on many occasions that there is nothing wrong. That the world is expressing itself as it should and I shouldn’t be concerned about it. Well, just as I had to realize that, even though I can see that something is wrong in general, there is nothing I can do to change the course of humanity. In a way, while the millions of Lemmings walk off the cliff, I have to stand to the side and watch it, which isn’t always that great of a role, but it is my role.

But this acceptance of the world as it is allows me to see greater beauty in all woman, thus allowing me to help raise the feminine energy within myself and within other women. Yes, even though I remain in a male body, I do now refer to myself as a woman. As this became more real to me, which is my true reality, I could become more accepting of other people and it also causes the feminine energy within me to rise, which causes the feminine energy to rise in this part of the Universe. Yes, it is us humans, or some of us, who are ushering in the new era. An era that isn’t so much new because it existed long ago in this part of the Universe. It is merely the part of the cycle that this part of the Universe is going through right now.

What I find interesting is that all of this is so commonplace to me. It is all part of my general existence. While for most other people, they have trouble seeing beyond the black piece of paper that is held up before them, making it difficult for them to express themselves as they truly are. So, not only does the black paper block their beauty from being seen by other people but it also blocks their true beauty or light from being seen by their own selves.

I see a woman, most any woman, and I’m in awe of them. My list of women that I admire is so long now that, well, I might as well include most every woman on my list, and it is true in many ways. This has been true for a long time but now I can understand it. When I see a woman and feel the awe, from this I can remind them of their true beauty, whether directly or indirectly. When I feel this awe from the beauty I see coming through the pinholes, I can’t help but think, and sometimes tell them, how amazing they are and how truly beautiful they are. Whether in thought or simply through placing it into the human stream of consciousness, this raises the feminine energy.

Thus I continue to adore women, no matter what they might look like today or how they are acting. I know that both come from their lives that are living on the black paper, rather than through the light that comes through the pinholes of the paper.

This gift now allows me to more freely roam this life, both within me and in seeing it all expressed in the physical realm. If there is one thing I might want to teach to others from all of this is that the physical realm is merely the result of what happens within each human, it is not the cause. Interestingly enough, each individual human is the cause of all the conflict that is going on in the world today. Just as humans can’t seem to change even though environmental catastrophe is facing them in the near decades to come, it is the same in seeing their own beauty.

The programming that comes from the society is strong. This programming is based on the masculine energy. This energy is naturally trying to defend itself from the oncoming rush of feminine energy. It is a natural process. As I can say from my own experience, much of which I documented in this blog over the past 3 years or so, it requires a lot to break free of the programming of the society. It is there for a purpose. The purpose of controlling the expression of humanity. The expression of humanity is the energy that comes through humanity.

All of this can make a person believe that we live in some sort of virtual world, sort of like the Matrix. The Matrix is an allegory for what is truly happening. I found it interesting as I looked to see what others through of the new Matrix movie, finding that most of them are looking at the “transsexual” concepts expressed throughout the franchise, being that the director of the movie is “transsexual.” Even here it seems that most people don’t see the light from behind the black paper that is front of them. They miss the true beauty that is being expressed. Such as one simple statement made in the current movie, that the reality of each person originates in their own mind.

Basically saying that there is no generalized reality. Reality is merely the expression of the heart through conscious awareness, which comes in many forms. In order to see the true reality of the Universe one merely has to stop living a life of right and wrong, good and bad, black and white, and come to see all of it as one expression. One human expression or reality made up of billions of different expressions or realities.

All of this stems from complete and unconditional acceptance of the self. Thus causing one to unconditionally accept the world around them. In turn, this allows a person to experience others, not as threats to their reality, but part of their reality, even though their immediate, or individual reality is different from another. Not until one raises themselves up above the mere physical existence and is able to see through the eyes of their hearts or higher self, which allows views equal to that of a satellite orbiting overhead, and seeing the whole of the expression, not just the individual thoughts, that one finds themselves being able to view a person, not by the black paper that is in front of them, but solely through the light that shines through the pinholes placed in the black paper.

Well, this was my Christmas present from the Universe this year. What did you get this year?