By the Hands of the Destroyer

It rained through the night and into the morning. It was definitely refreshing. I was even able to ride to work this morning in a nice mist of rain. It kept the temperature cool and nice, reminiscent of Fall, as one person said, until I reminded her than in a few days it is supposed to be near 100 degrees F. again. It’s that time of year when we get to have a taste of cooler weather which increases over time until Fall finally arrives.

It has been a brutal Summer here and it has been much worse elsewhere. New fires have started due to lightning in California just as they are beginning to gain control over the very large fires that have been burning for many weeks. It doesn’t seem to end.

It seems that masks are returning. Starting tomorrow at my job masks are required for the employees and they are recommending them for the customers. I was considering going back to wearing a mask anyway so it doesn’t bother me. It’s amazing how the virus is increasing with the new variant. I saw that Senator Lindsey Graham has contracted the virus. I’m pretty sure he was vaccinated as most people in Congress were vaccinated.

Like usual, the US jumped the gun when it came to taking precautions for the virus. They just want to go back to normal. A normal that will never return. They simply can’t accept this. It’s more than the virus but the entirety of their existence.

Today I am very exhausted. It was a very busy weekend at work. Oh, the madness as people are even more demanding and desiring of the things they so desire. I had to wonder why it is that I’m doing this kind of work but I know it is a perfect place to observe people at their worst. Not the kind of worst that might be seen in slums with drug addicts and prostitution, which is merely a symptom of the insanity. Where I work I get to see much of the cause of the insanity that then causes the other more darker things to happen. Things that most people refer to as being normal, such as mass consumption.

Today I was talking with a young woman. I really like her because she has such passion. She is a black woman and I enjoy talking with her because I really haven’t had much of an opportunity to talk with black people much. Not openly. They are either completely into their own culture and not trusting of white people or they are trying to hard to be like white people and live in the white person’s culture. She is in between the two. She is literate in the white culture and comfortable with it but is also of the black culture.

I enjoy her because I can get her fired up about things. Today I mentioned an insanity that I’ve had to endure all weekend. It as about a new toy that is the new rage. It came out on Thursday and I’ve been receiving calls all day long for it. There are many varieties of it and each person is looking for different varieties to add to their collections. It is for younger people mainly and it is so strange to have young girls call me, with their seemingly innocent voices, and be so demanding. They have to have it. They seem that they will die if they can’t have it and it has to be the variety that they want.

The funny thing is that within a couple of hours of putting them out they are gone. I will walk away and do other work then happen to pass by an hour later and only a few are left. Then I will come back again and they are all gone. The next day we get more and it is the same thing, with the phone ringing off the hook. Some ask me to put them on hold for them, which I do. I will be walking up to the front of the store with them and get another phone call asking for them. It is utterly insane. But it is an example of the insanity plaguing the US today. A simply video on YouTube can make something go viral. This isn’t the first time I’ve gone through this. Just a few months ago another toy was viral and now it has settled down as they stay on the shelves longer, but people are still asking for that toy.

On top of it all, I work in a department that is the very definition of vanity. Toys are completely pointless, but I see each day parents literally supporting this behavior in their children. The walk through the department with their children, filling the cart with toys and literally bonding with their children through this experience. I literally saw a woman with a nearly overflowing cart of toys today with her two children, going along pointing out things that she believed they would like.

I hear so many strange things. This morning I was stocking some toy cars and a woman was telling her little boy who was in the cart that he couldn’t open the toy until he sat on the toilet and pooped. I mean, she is bribing the child in order to potty train him. The funny thing is that I hear this all the time. Later a coworker, who was off work and shopping with her son, asked him what game he wanted when he becomes potty trained. Oh, the madness.

All the while, these people don’t seem to be aware that what they are doing is leading to their own destruction and they are simply supporting this behavior in their children.

Yes, as I’ve described it before, this society is on a freight train that is speeding out of control and no one knows how to stop it. Everyone see’s what is happening but they can’t stop. The politicians see what is happening but they can’t stop it because they are addicted to the money coming from the corporations that have bought them and who are really running the government. The freight train is a very long train and it has already begun to run off the cliff. One by one the cars will fall off the cliff.

And it seems that he speed is accelerating as it runs off the cliff as the people become even more vain and pointless in their desires. Trying to feel the hopelessness that is upon them with some sense of pleasure, which is causing the train to move even faster off the cliff. And what’s really interesting about it is that I stand here watching it day after day, seeing them doing it to themselves and I sometimes I just start laughing inside at the pure madness of it all.

So, I was talking with this young woman about some of it and I found it interesting how she took to something I pointed out to here. I said that 90% of all the things in this store will be either in a landfill or on their way to the landfill within 5 years. More than 50% of the products will be in a landfill within a year and much of the rest will be their or on their way within a week after purchasing them. Parents spending $25 dollars on some plastic toy that the child might step on or simply throw down and break within a couple of days. Or it simply stops working because they are so cheaply made.

I then pointed out that most people aren’t even aware of how these things get to them. They don’t understand the process of gaining the raw materials to manufacture many of the products they purchase. I pointed out rubber tire on cars and how most people are unaware that they are made with natural rubber that comes from rubber trees in Indonesia where workers are paid less that $3 a day to gather the rubber and women are often raped and exploited as they work.

She then said that she had been talking with some friend and she said that people don’t know all the people who touch and have given their time and even blood for things that are so commonplace in their lives. She used the example of paper. All that goes into making paper and then they just crumple it up and throw it away as if it is nothing.

I then pointed out that most every product in the store, if you followed it back to it’s origins, would lead to bloodshed, exploitation and suffering. If not literally now but also in the past. The wars over the areas where the resources for the raw materials are gained. Oil is the best example. Millions upon millions of innocent people have died terrible deaths just so you can drive your car each day with no thought to it at all.

Not to mention the great environmental costs to all that humans in this society create of which they are enjoying the rewards now in the form of huge fires burning all around the world, the ice melting in Greenland which will raise the ocean levels which will flood their luxury homes near the beaches they so love and that gives them such great status, along with the huge and powerful storms that come along, flooding and destroying their homes along with many other things. Just so they can drive their cars and buy lots of things, none of which is necessary to their lives.

It was interesting and I really enjoy talking with her. I found it interesting today that I felt something I’ve never felt before. I felt attraction toward a black woman. Yes, she is young and I would never follow through with it. I have no desire to do such a thing as I have no desire for anyone in my life in that way. But I felt deep attraction to her passion and she became very beautiful to me. I’ve never felt this way for a black woman before I was enjoyed this feeling. It means another barrier has been broken within me.

The thing is that I think she lacks motivation and direction in her convictions. Not that her convictions would change anything but I don’t believe that following through with such convictions, through her great passion, is a wonderful work of art. A beautiful expression. I don’t think such activities as being vain, even though I know the end result is fruitless. Such things are not about the end result but the expression of the passion that comes from a deeply caring heart. It’s also about defiance toward the reality of society.

At least I’m off work tomorrow and I can rest. Just another couple of weeks and I will be getting two days off in a row rather than split days off. That will be nice. So many other things happened this weekend that added to my exhaustion. It as my manager’s weekend off and this means that all he usually shields from me comes at me. I had to deal with coworkers who are doing whatever they want to do and I have to contain them. I can’t really contain them because they won’t listen to me so I have to watch them and then bring it to the upper management to reign them in.

I just can’t believe the things they want to do, most of which would cause me much more work, but they seem to think it is the right thing to do. When my manager is there he keeps a tight leash on them. At least, he keeps them out of my hair so I don’t have to bite my tongue and, as I felt at one time, I just wanted to knock one of them aside the head but I just walk away and clean up the messes they make which they think is the most efficient thing to be doing and will argue with me all day about how I am wrong and they are right, so I simply don’t say anything at all and just ride the wave until my manager comes back and gets them back into control.

So now I can rest a little and stay away from people. I really don’t like people much anymore. At times I can see that I try to like them but then I see them as they are and I can’t like them. I just shake my head and know that it’s all because of their ignorance. Just as they are teaching their children today to be like this, they too were taught by their parents and teachers at school to be like this. It’s just the way it is as they race down the tracks to their own destruction by their own hands.