Learning Faith

It’s another hot and humid day. Yes, there is moisture out there but little of it reaches the ground here. It just makes what is already hot seem hotter. The fires keep burning. It seems that the jet stream is carrying all the smoke from the West up to the North and then back down upon the Midwest and Eastern part of the country. We have little smoke here right now. Just heat and humidity.

Over the past few weeks I have spent time observing the belly of the beast. Basically examining the true hopelessness for humanity. It has been very painful, literally causing me great physical and mental pain. My heart seemed to think it was important that I see these things. The true reality of humanity at this time. Finally it got to the point where I was begging my heart to make it stop and then she pulled me out. Now I can look back at it with more clarity and I’m able to actually write about some of it.

There is so much to it. Right now I can think of some of the more simple parts of it. Such as women’s sports. I have been enjoying watching women’s softball at the Olympics. Women’s softball was taken out of the Olympics in 2008 and finally returned, though very condensed. It won’t be included in the next Summer Olympics but it will be in the one after that.

They are talking about some of the players and how their siblings also played in previous Olympics, often in different sports. One was a woman softball player who played in the 2008 Olympics along with her brother who played baseball. Her brother went on to play in the major league while she continued in softball. He made lots of money and played with several different teams. She had to struggle to make it, being that women’s softball isn’t very popular in this society. She is still playing today in this Olympics.

Another is a woman who is a pitcher for the US team. She plays professionally in Japan, simply because there is no market for women’s softball in the US. She makes good money playing over there.

It’s the same with all women’s sports, except things like gymnastics and ice skating. The WNBA barely makes it each year.

This is just an example of how women are not treated even close to equally as men simply because the way the society is set up always benefits men. Most women don’t enjoy sports so therefore they don’t support such sports like softball and other women’s sports.

Then there is the fact that women are always treated as sex objects and even play into this game. Such as with women’s golf and tennis. There are many YouTube videos based on the sexiest women athletes, often showing them in compromising positions. Many of the athletes play into it, dressing up provocatively for photos and such. I’ve seen this with golf players and tennis players.

I saw a video clip of commercials from the past which would be banned today. Many of them depicting women as being the slaves of men. This was basically how it was less that 100 years ago. The men were the providers and the women were the gatherers and preparers, living to serve the man and the family. Depicting women as always seeking out the men who would support her. As I’ve said most of my life, causing women to simply live as prostitutes, receiving support from the men in exchange for their bodies, minds and even souls. Basically slaves to the man.

But the society formed this into a way of life, where the women felt purpose in doing these things. Even though they were second rate citizens with few rights, they accepted their plight with pride, trying to be the best servants they could be and the media reinforced this.

In many ways, this has changed very little. Women still go to great lengths to satisfy the men. The other day I was wondering if women are naturally as skinny as many of them are today. I’ve seen this mostly in the affluent women. I see it very much in the young women, often before they are even 20 years old.

I see them come in wearing tight yoga pants and a tight crop top, their waists so thin I could literally put both my hands together and be able to encompass their waists. They strut around, yes, literally strut around, believing they are the depiction of health and beauty. Their breasts fully formed and accentuated by the sports bra they are wearing. Their buttocks round and lifted up to form them into the masculine delight.

I don’t see any of this as being immoral or anything of the sorts. I see it as being degrading to women. In some ways, this is why I enjoy women’s softball. These women aren’t focused on being beautiful. They dedicate themselves to their sport. It is possible that many of them are lesbian and this makes sense. They have to form their own feminine society to survive. In a way, this is what all women should be doing. Joining together as a team in solidarity. But, of course, the masculine society wouldn’t allow this. They would simply take away the benefits that the women enjoy, such as safety, security and comfort, which many women are willing to exchange for giving their bodies, minds and souls to serve the masculine.

It is the same, though in different ways, for other supposed minorites, such as black people. While many white people, deep down, still see them as nothing more than 5th rate citizens who should be living in shacks, chained up and serving the white population. They might now show these feelings outwardly but they still mock black people, such as in YouTube videos, where an uneducated black person might say some things that don’t make sense and they laugh at them, calling them stupid and unintelligent, not only the one black person who is speaking but viewing them as a representative of all black people, simply because this is what they desire to see because this is what they have been taught to see.

And there are other things, such as now, when I look at a rubber tire on a car, all I see is the people in some Asian islands who work for $2 or $3 a day to provide the natural rubber for those tires. In many ways, this is how all raw resources for all the things that the people in the US buy begins. But the people in the US choose not to think of such things, only the momentary gratification that they get in buying these things.

They don’t like to think of all the industrial waste that comes from producing these products that they so enjoy. Waste that often goes up into the air causing greater issues in the atmosphere, along with their love and worship for their cars, which they drive indiscriminately, without any concern or thought to what they are doing.

At times, it seems that I’m the only one who is seeing these things, but I know that others are seeing them also. I can hear it in the voices of the announcers of the softball games who, very politically, talk about the lack of support for the game, a game they love.

I see it in many videos as people seek for solutions to all the problems in the society, many believing socialism would solve all the ills, as if it would form some sort of Utopia of sorts. I can understand the idealism but I also understand that, even if it were to come to pass, it would be far from perfect. I also understand that the masculine society will fight it to the death, therefore it will never come fully to pass until the masculine institutions are completely destroyed, thus destroying many of the humans who support such archaic institutions.

I can imagine the image of all the women and other minorities coming together in solidarity to stand up against the masculine rule. This might seem to be a solution but the masculine controls all aspects of the society. They would simply starve them out, while killing many of the more “radical” ones in the meantime. Most humans know this is not the way to go, though in their minds they dream of such a great and powerful uprising, mostly because it would bring about great solidarity and cooperation, which most humans crave but get very little of it in this society because keeping the humans divided aids the masculine in it’s rule.

This is why, as my heart has told me many times, the heart has to step in and do for humanity what it can’t do for itself. Using aspect of life from the true natural reality of life, to destroy the institutions of the masculine. The feminine energy works through the heart and doesn’t fight directly in the physical world. She influences the physical world through their hearts.

It is true that nature is the feminine, depicted as being “Mother Nature” and the Earth being viewed in the feminine. It is through these things that the feminine works also and we are, to the dismay of most, seeing these things come to life and destroying much. Not to so much destroy forests and lands on the Earth, as she knows these things will again grow. It destroys the institutions of the masculine based society. Just as floods and great storms do this. When plagued by many of these things, the society can’t withstand itself against them.

Add in viruses and diseases, which humans seem to fear most as they can’t be seen and seem to have a mind of their own, causing them to have to think about their own mortality, which is what most humans of this society dread the most, and suddenly one can see even more of the institutions being destroyed.

The interesting part of it all is that most of the masculine institutions are not so much physical structions but the structures formed by the programming of the human minds within the society. Causing them to be focused solely on momentary gratification without seeing the future consequences. Blinding them from seeing how and from where their products are coming from and how they are produced. Making their wars seem like just causes to bring about greater freedom while they are actually used to repress and oppress other societies who might be conflict with the US masculine ideal of completely dominance and control through the use of power.

The fact that most humans, though they desire to not be seen as animals, are being exploited and used simply through their own animal desires. It’s interesting that the US lives and prides itself as being dedicated to breaking each and every one of the seven deadly sins. Sins that aren’t necessarily sins against their “god” but against nature herself. Again, it’s not about morality but about harmony and basically being able to live in cooperation, not only between humans but all of nature.

On and on it goes. I had to wonder why my heart took me so deeply into the belly of the beast as it was so painful and very frightening. You have to imagine that I have no people. I have a feminine heart but women don’t necessarily accept me as their own. I support all minorities but I am white and not accepted by them. I have Asperger’s which causes me to perceive life in a very different way from other people, a perspective that my heart is now telling me is the one that allows me to see all of these things and more so clearly. A “condition” that both works against me, because I get overly stimulated and thus causing me to experience great storms within me, yet without it I wouldn’t be able to see all these things so clearly.

So I have to endure such pain and anxiety within me while looking at humanity in it’s current state so closely, but my heart has also taught me to discern between the confusion I experience and the true images I’m seeing. As I said, no one here is going to defend me nor support me. I’m pretty much alone here. Therefore, for me to see these things so clearly, it is scary. Yet, I have such a strong and beautiful heart who always protects me and provides me with what I need.

At this time I feel very vulnerable in life but my heart simply says that it’s okay to feel these things, even when they shake me to my very bones, because it doesn’t affect her work and, in the end, it will do nothing but strengthen me. Strengthen my faith in her and in the universe as a whole.

Still, a couple of days ago I was nearly on my knees begging her to make it stop and, when I get to this point, she will usually pull me out because it is time. Time for me to come out of it and be able to contemplate all that I’ve seen and experienced and finally begin to be able to write about these things.