Just Writing

It’s a bit warmer today and the still somewhat humid so it does seem rather hot outside even though it’s only 90 degrees F. No wind to speak of and the sky is blue with a somewhat hazy type whiteness to it, as if very high clouds or possibly haze as that happens here when there is no wind, though the haze usually sits closer to the ground. This whiteness does take away from the blue of the sky.

At Wimbledon I lost both Camila Giorgi and Alize Cornet. I never expect them to get very far in a major. They are two of my favorites not because they win tournaments but because I enjoy watching them play and the heart they give in each match they play. Alize seemed to tire out in the third set but she took it to the end after taking the second set 6 games to 0 after losing the first set. I’m never disappointed in them, though I would enjoy seeing them go further. They both play with such heart and it’s beautiful.

So I go on watching matches of other players, such as the one I’m finishing now after watching part of it live this morning. A wonderful match between Garbine Muguruza and Ons Jabeur. I had to leave after a game where they went back and forth to the end, advantage back to deuce over and over again. I wouldn’t leave until the game was over, which cut it pretty close getting to work.

I came home and pulled it up on the on demand and fast forwarded to the place where I left off and the game continued to be very good. Jabeur seems very much on today and is playing wonderfully against a former champion.

There’s a couple other matches I want to see but I will probably view them a bit faster, fast forwarding through them to certain parts and not watching them in full. This is the great luxury of have a subscription so I can not only watch matches without commercials, though ESPN does through an occasional one in and to be able to watch them as I like to watch them so I can still see them but don’t have to spend 10 hours watching them all and be able to focus on the ones that I want to watch in full.

It was a nice, cool Summer morning when I rode in to work. Very pleasant. But as I said it got hotter later and is expected to get even hotter this weekend. I do hope the humidity goes down a bit.

When I walked into work I felt very strange. It caused me to feel a little anxious. The world around even seemed a bit blurry to me. It didn’t take long before I realize that I am truly living within two realities as the same time. As the reality of my heart deepens within me I am still living within the current reality around me.

My first thought was, “I wonder if this is what drives some people into madness.” When a person might suddenly be able to see two different realities but not be aware that there is another reality. I thought about schizophrenics and the possibility, using the TV show “Fringe” as a metaphor, of being able to see into an alternate universe in a sense. The fact that they don’t know of this alternate universe causes them to go mad because they can’t balance between the two.

The fact that my heart has gradually brought me to this place along with explaining everything along the way, I can see both realities or universes and remain balanced between the two, mostly because I’m aware of both realities and also aware that they are many, many perspective realities throughout the universe, something that most humans are unaware of, believing that their current reality is the only reality.

When I became aware of what was happening they did balance together. I was literally in both realities at the same time and functioning in both realities at the same time. I continue to view other humans through the perspective reality of the heart while also being able to view them within their programming of this current reality they dedicate their lives to serving.

The thing is that this current reality could be termed as a manmade reality or an artificial reality because it is an illusion, or as some people might say, it seems like a “matrix.”

As I’ve written before, in a way I can literally see the programming code as I view other people. I see them and I can see they are each running within a program. I program that is based on things they have taken in throughout media. The way they dress, walk, talk and act is all in accordance to some “app” they have downloaded into themselves and how their expression has become nothing more than parroting this “app’s” programming. This is they very foundation of trends, which are completely unoriginal and are merely imitating others, or downloading their programming and running this program as if it were their own.

I thought about brilliant people like John Nash, who experienced intense schizophrenia but yet was able to see things within mathematics that other people couldn’t see. He was even an advocate for not trying to change “mentally ill” people by drugging them as he saw that without his “mental illness” he couldn’t perform the things he did. Maybe, in a sense, he was able to see into an alternate universe and because he didn’t understand that it was an alternate universe this caused his paranoia because he couldn’t always balance between the two realities. Yet, over time, he did learn to balance them because he stopped taking the drugs and managed what he was experiencing.

Many people would say that what I am able to see doesn’t exist. It doesn’t exist because it doesn’t exist in this current reality, the one that they believe is the only objective reality, unaware that their reality isn’t objective but very much subjective, constantly changing and being affected by the manifestations of the humans who are interacting with this reality.

As they said in “Fringe,” the alternate reality that they were able to go into wasn’t in another place but it was right in front of their faces, they couldn’t see it because it exists in a sort of different vibration. They could take objects from the other universe and scan them for their vibrations and they would be slightly different from those in their own universe. Yet, they would be harmonious as certain points. Much like taking two metronomes and starting them together. One will beat out of sync with the other except at certain points where they will beat in harmony then go back out of sync.

In a way, this is how perspective realities work. They are, in a sense, in sync with each other but yet very different from each other. Like I wrote before, within each person is many programs, “apps” they have downloaded throughout their lives that have come to be their identity reality, all of which they identify as being their objective reality, though it is constantly changing. Yet, beneath it all, there is a source program, or source code, from which all these other “apps” or programs are written from. None of those “apps” could function without the source code but those “apps” also cause them to become unaware of the source program, therefore they basically lose themselves as they are the source program.

This source program, in a sense, is the other reality, a reality in which humans, or possibly some other being, has altered and formed other programs in order to create their own reality. In a way, humans are nothing more than programmable animals. In a sense, organic machines. They can be programmed to act and even defend the programming that they have been given, declaring that programming to be their reality.

But, if you look at each individual person, you will notice that each one is running different “apps” declaring them to be their individual reality. Yet this reality is based on a sort of source reality, which is the reality of society. Because of this, they believe this to be “freedom.” The ability to be an individual within a large group of people. But this “freedom” is far from true freedom. In fact, as I’ve stated before, their reality is nothing more than “apps” they’ve downloaded which has become their expression and thus their reality.

One can see over time that as they get older, they take on different “apps” and thus their reality changes gradually over time. Though they might hang on to older “apps” they no longer serve them as they once did and, along with experiences, usually painful experiences, they come to distrust some “apps” and exchange them for others they find along the way that seem a more acceptable reality.

All the while, they are completely unaware that, as being consciously aware beings they, at any time, can write their own program. They can create their own reality. They can manifest a different world around them. Yet, they have been taught that this doesn’t exist so they don’t trust their own selves.

This came up with my heart lately when I’ve been concerned about the possibility of having to move in the coming months. My heart asked me, “Do you feel that you are going to move?” I said, “No.” She said, “Then you’re not going to move.”

I personally don’t want any interruptions right now. I would like another year free and clear to continue this journey. My heart pointed out that in all my worry and concerns of some future scenerio, I’m not going to alter the true reality that will happen. I will only slow myself down and waste good energy on nothing. No matter what I’m concerned about in this “alternate” reality, as it has become to me, my true reality or source program is now dominate within me. I am living in the reality of my heart, which is my source program.

What causes me to feel a little anxious like I felt this morning was the fact that I felt confused because, over my day off, I had come to be deep within the reality of my heart and when I came out into this other reality around me, at first not being aware of it, I was a little shocked and it caused fear because I wondered if I could actually function within that reality. But when I realized it I could then balance the two together. In a sense, bringing both into sync with each other, which is the very nature of what it would be like if humans in general were in balance with the masculine and feminine. The spiritual (feminine) and the physical (masculine) both interacting harmoniously, their energies in balanced equality.

The very essence or foundation of my concerns or worries is based on the fact that I’m in one reality and I’m looking out at the other reality and I can’t predict what will happen. Yet, the inner reality is affecting the outer reality because they are interacting with each other equally, except when they are views as separate or divided from each other, just as men and women in this current physical reality view themselves one gender is divided and different from the other while, in reality, all humans are both genders, able to possess both the reality of the feminine and the masculine within them equally and in harmony, which then causes them to interact with the physical world or reality with the same equality or harmony, viewing themselves both within the physical reality and the spiritual reality at one time as they aren’t divided nor separate from each other.

This is the essence of manifestation. Though they are unaware of these two reality, both still exist both within them and outside of them, though they declare the reality outside of them as being the sole objective reality. All the while, they are still manifesting their reality into the physical reality, as they are not separate from the physical reality and what is within them will affect the outer reality, thus making this supposed “objective” physical reality very much a subjective reality.

Everything a human sees in the physical reality has been manifested by humans, though the alteration of their programming and the loss of their source programming, or true identity, thus creating an artificial reality, or illusion which seems to some to be a matrix.

Well, this is the best I can describe all of this right now and all of this was very much not what I sat down to write today but I will go with it as it is as this is what caused my fingers to type out the symbols that formed words which formed sentences, then paragraphs leading to this seemingly completed expression that I am now posting.