Just Thinking

It’s a bright, sunny day with blue skies with wispy clouds floating by here and there upon the blue canvas. I can feel the humidity increasing as moisture from the South is coming in and bringing the possibility of some rain tomorrow. The temperature is relatively comfortable though feeling a bit warmer than the number on the scale because of the humidity.

I did go out for a little while to the store because I did need a couple of things. I wanted to get some apple cider vinegar because I enjoy soaking my feet in a mixture of warm water and vinegar. Just ten minutes makes them feel so much better.

I’ve also had a strange craving lately that came up about a week ago. At work I crave a Pepsi around break time. I don’t normally drink soda of any kind but my mind was focused on it. The first time it happened i figured it wouldn’t hurt to do it once. But it keeps coming up each day. I don’t believe it’s so much the caffeine that I’m craving but the sugar.

One day I tried bringing some chai tea with a spoonful of raw sugar added to it but it didn’t fully satisfy the craving. All I know is that it makes me feel so much better when I have a Pepsi, so I continued to do it. But it’s $1.50 a bottle so I decided to keep the empty bottle and then go buy a two liter bottle that cost $2 and has many more servings. I also don’t think I need the entire 20 ounces that comes in the smaller bottle so now I can control the amount and find what works. The funny thing is that I literally down that 20 ounce bottle in my 15 minute break. It just tastes so good to me.

These sorts of craving do come and go and I’m not going to question it as it does make me feel better. It might be one of the herbs I take, such as Tulsi, which does lower the blood sugar some. I do take a healthy dose of Tulsi once a day. For me it is absolutely amazing. I will continue the Pepsi each day until I either tire of it or find something else.

The problem withe tea is that the caffeine affects me differently than that of say coffee. It gives me more energy even though it’s supposedly has less caffeine in it than coffee. It’s a sort of jittery energy, which is strange because they say that all tea has a bit of theanine in it. I know that things affect me differently that with other people.

I can’t take Ginseng because it gives me a headache and makes me feel irritated, while others think it is wonderful. I can’t take Ashwaganda because it too gives me a very tense, jittery energy. I think this is because I’m on thyroid medication and Ashwaganda can increase the thyroid output. This is one reason why I take Tulsi, which is also an adaptagen but it doesn’t give me energy. It is more calming but not noticeably calming. I simply enjoy the true effects of an adaptagen, which are the clearing of the lungs and greater balance overall throughout the body’s system.

Today Wimbledon was again rained out for the outer courts. It is really coming down there. I guess they have had months of rain there while out here it is very dry. They said they have had trouble maintaining the courts previous to the open because of all the rain. But the courts are a lush green and very beautiful. This is why I enjoy the early matches, while the court is still very green and not worn down.

I did get to see Angelique Kerber play Nina Stojanovic. Angelique won in straight sets but Nina played well. It was the ending that I really enjoyed. In the last game Nina fought to stay in the match but made some mistakes, yet she never seemed frustrated. I think she even lost a little focus simply because she seemed to be enjoying herself so much, smiling at the things that were happening. Such a beautiful smile she has.

At the end of the match she stayed to walk off with Angelique. Before they left the court the officials asked Angelique to stay and give an post match interview. Nina also stayed, which is not normal. She sat down on her bag and listened to them offer questions to Angelique and she answered them. As they left to court together they we smiling and joking with each other. I don’t think they are actually friends off the court by Angelique’s demeanor when the shook hands at the net, which she had little emotion at the time, though Nina was smiling and looking at her. It wasn’t until they left, Nina seemingly showing Angelique great respect as a champion, that it was just beautiful, bringing tears to my eyes. They played hard against each other and left friends. This is how it should be.

Now that I get to watch more matches with Tennis Channel Plus, I get to watch my favorite low ranked players, such as Alize Cornet, who plays later today, weather permitting. She has been on a winning streak lately, beating top ten players. Each time she comes to the net at the end after winning, those top ten players hardly even give her a notice. They just shake hands or tap rackets without even looking at her. I also noticed that each of them all feigned injuries during the matches with Alize, as if they couldn’t bear believing they lost to such a career low ranked player so they had to have an excuse. Yet Alize just played better than they did.

They do the same with Camila Giogi, who isn’t all that emotional of a person even when she wins. She doesn’t come back onto the court to wave to the fans after a win. She just goes back to her chair as if nothing happened, puts away her gear and walks off, unless they ask her to give an interview. Even then she sort of laughs off the silly questions that they ask of her. This is one of the reason why I enjoy her so much.

Even so, I used to respect some of those top 10 players but seeing how arrogant they are when losing to a lower ranked player who is on a winning streak, it really disappointed me, but didn’t surprise me in this day and age.

Since there was a rain delay, I decided to watch some independent news clips by Krystal Ball and Sagger. They broke away from The Hill and are now completely independent. They brought up an interesting bit of information. They talked about a warning that Carl Sagan wrote in his 1995 book “Demon Haunted World” that is very prophetic of today. I looked it up and read it and it is nearly perfect as to how life has changed from the 90s to today:

“I have a foreboding of an America in my children’s or grandchildren’s time — when the United States is a service and information economy; when nearly all the key manufacturing industries have slipped away to other countries; when awesome technological powers are in the hands of a very few, and no one representing the public interest can even grasp the issues; when the people have lost the ability to set their own agendas or knowledgeably question those in authority; when, clutching our crystals and nervously consulting our horoscopes, our critical faculties in decline, unable to distinguish between what feels good and what’s true, we slide, almost without noticing, back into superstition and darkness. The dumbing down of America is most evident in the slow decay of substantive content in the enormously influential media, the 30-second sound bites (now down to 10 seconds or less), lowest common denominator programming, credulous presentations on pseudoscience and superstition, but especially a kind of celebration of ignorance.”

It made me think of my own spirituality, which isn’t really spirituality in the traditional sense. I came up with the term, scientific, spiritual philosophy as a description for my spirituality. All of my findings that my heart teaches me is based on science. Yet, I’m not a scientist so I’m not bound to the formal scientific method, which is visual and physical. I do use this method in somethings but it is useless when I enter into the main matters of the heart and the reality of the heart, which is something most scientist try to ignore, even though many theoretical physicists are now able to literally see into the reality of the heart, though they can’t fully understand it.

I think one of the reasons I enjoy the TV show “Fringe” is because it’s about going beyond or out of the box with your thinking. Like the character Dr. Bishop often says to his son, “Where is your imagination? When did you become so void of being able to see outside the box.”

Then in one episode where they are examining some dead bodies that had been bitten, his son Peter says, “So is it some sort of vampires.” saying it somewhat sarcastically. Dr. Bishop replied, “There you go son, using your imagination and looking outside the box.” as if validating it as a possible theory, only to later say, “No. It’s not vampires because the bite marks are human.”

It’s Dr. Bishop’s first speculations that build to his hypothesis that are so fun and interesting. He builds things from his imagination that do hold some of the truth within them, though he might be going a bit too far at first. He then uses these broad speculations of his imagination to narrow things down to a valid hypothesis.

Everything I experience and write is based on a form of scientific thinking. I observe just as a scientist does and then document based on the perspective of my heart, which is different from the common societal perspective and reality. I’m skeptical of some things and even put them to the test. I observe the world around me and then compare it to the world within me. I observe my own feelings in relation to what is happening around me. This is the main difference from that of a formal scientist who doesn’t view feelings in an objective way, where I do view them this way.

I know that some feelings are fleeting while others will form and become more static, often forming into something else as they evolve. This is why I don’t react to initial feelings but my heart has taught me to allow them to take form and shape, often combining with other feelings and emotions and becoming a grander image. Within this grander image I can then compare it to what I’m observing outside of myself and most times connect the two.

I can better understand why other people do the things they do because those things are also within myself. Nothing I say in “judging” the actions of others around me I can’t discern from things that are also within me. This is why I have proven that we are all very much the same on the inside though people have been taught to see themselves as separate individuals on the outside. This is because they are also divided within themselves, viewing those feelings within themselves as being something different from the reality around them that they have discerned as being their sole reality. The physical reality.

So in Carl Sagan’s warning, there is only one line that I might question but I do understand why he said it because I too have experienced these feelings in times when I tried to view life objectively based solely on the physical. Even so, I also agree with that line because many, if not most, spiritualist people do make it a sort of superstition rather than a true reality. They are doing just as the religious people are doing, trying to constantly validate their beliefs based on superstition and a supernatural existence, when, in fact, none of it is supernatural. It is all natural. It is all based on physical laws, the only added aspect is that the reality of the heart, or the spiritual realm is based on differently laws. Laws that interact with the physical realm but can’t fully exist within the laws of the physical.

This is why the feminine can’t fight outright in the physical else she would be defeated. While the masculine is the ruler of the physical but can’t fight directly in the heart or the spiritual as the feminine does. The true battlefield between the two, as they universes collide, is in a sort of neutral ground where both the spiritual and the physical can exist together. That realm is within humans and other beings in the universe who possess conscious awareness.

In other beings there might now be a war going on simply because they are in balance within themselves, therefore their physical reality is in balance around them. Here, there is such a great imbalance between the masculine and the feminine with humans that one can see the great conflict occurring here in the physical and thus, one can see that Carl Sagan’s warning about today was spot on. A man who, even if he didn’t consciously know it at the time, was able to see what balance and harmony would look like and was able to compare it to the world he was perceiving, thus being able to write a warning that is very much prophetic.

To be honest, this is the science of prophecy. It’s not supernatural or based on superstition. The one that gives me my information is not outside of me. She is within me. She is me. She is my higher self. A self that most people can’t see within themselves because they are so distracted the shiny things of this physical reality and especially, the live by in the celebration of ignorance. They literally work hard to remain ignorant.

I can see that this is one reason why I have so few followers and only a few who read my posts regularly. They aren’t 10 second blips of information. What I’m writing is deeply thought out and examined through experience, using a spiritual form of the scientific method. I can literally claim the validity to most things I write simply because I have put them to the test within myself and compared them to the reality around me. Other things I write, well, they are often like Dr.Bishop’s initial speculations that lead to his hypothesis. I go out of the box, sometimes way out of the box, then return later with a more narrow hypothesis for what I’m observing and experiencing here in this very dynamic life that is much more, very much more, than simply going to work, going online and to the store to by things, and hanging out with friends and family as well as other things to pass the time until one has to go back to work again and then feels the need to buy some unnecessary thing again.

Another thing was brought up on the independent news clip that I watched. They examined a poll about how many close friends people have to day compared to back in 1990. It has gone down dramatically. In 1990, those who had more than 10 close friends was more than 33%, now is less than 3%. The irony of this is that back in 1990 the amount of people who didn’t have any close friends was nearly none, while today it is about 10%.

Even I, a person with Asperger’s but didn’t know it then, had many friends and about three close friends back in the 90s. Now I have none. Comparing this to the fact that having Asperger’s makes it difficult to make friends in general, I would say that this equals the same stats as those who are neurotypical.

Just some things I thought about today, and other days, while waiting for the rain delay to end at Wimbledon.