Each day the temperature is rising a few degrees but still not extremely hot, unlike those states to the Northwest who are baking in very hot weather. Tomorrow the temperature is expected to rise a few more degrees then it stays in the low to mid 90s until around the 10th of July when 100 degrees F. might return again. There’s always the hope that some system might interrupt this by then.
Today was a better day than yesterday. I was able to catch up at work to where everything is current again. Who knows what will happen tomorrow but for now I feel much better and I enjoyed the day much more. Another department manager was made the acting area manager for the day and she did a great job. I like her very much and enjoyed boosting her confidence through the day by telling her how great of a leader she is, because she is and it showed. She kept everything running smoothly.
Throughout the day I noticed more changes to my perspective. Not so much changes but a deepening of the perspective I’ve been experiencing lately that I wrote about yesterday.
The feeling that I’m not from here and I do have a home somewhere else, only I don’t know where that home is. I contemplated it to be merely viewing life through a different perspective that is causing this feeling. Then I saw that perspective is more than just a view of the immediate environment but it can also reveal, in a sense, an alternate universe of perspective. Alternate to this universe but, for some reason, normal to me.
As I took note of my feelings throughout the day, I noticed a greater calm within me. A different type of calm. Much like that of being on vacation and you experience something happening there that isn’t all that enjoyable but you know you are going home and you don’t have to live within it, so you just experience it openly and freely as just another experience.
Yet, within it, I feel an even greater connection to the hearts of others. I truly view other people differently that I have before. They still look the same but how I interact with them is seemingly different. As if I’m also connecting to the “alternate” universe within them. I’m seeing and interacting with them from within this other universe and they still respond.
I’ve noticed lately that my smile has returned, which is very pleasant.
Throughout this journey I’ve always gone with my heart into the unknown. I just hold her hand and let her take me wherever it is that she desires to take me. She never tells me where we are going. I simply describe what I am seeing each day as I walk along with her.
Sometimes it is tumultuous as my ego fights against the journey, trying to tell me that where we are going is wrong. Taking me back into the past and causing me pain by telling me that is who I truly am. These are basically the storms that I experience within on occasion.
The storms are necessary as long as I simply allow myself to feel the feelings but not try to change or fight against them. Sure, I might feel great insecurity within and, at times, even believe the voice of my ego, but I never go with my ego. It’s more like going on a ride at an amusement park. I horror ride. Where things pop out at me and, if it is well done, at times it seems real. But as long as I stay in the car and don’t wander off, I will come out into the light again at the end of the ride only a little shaken from the experience.
At that point, this is where the expansion occurs. I’ve had several of these storms in the past few weeks. More than normal. I can see that my heart has been taking me places that my ego doesn’t like at all. I can see that with each storm, or after the storm, I became more detached from this reality. Detached from the values that are placed on this ego, or masculine based reality.
Then I began allowing the feminine to rise within me by allowing her to express herself through me. My heart gave me new rituals based on the feminine. She told me to not worry about repressing the masculine because it isn’t about eliminating the masculine but about raising the feminine to her rightful place, in perfect equality and harmony with the masculine.
As I examined my feelings today and how I related to others, I wondered if this is the “secret” that so many people, spiritual people, are seeking. The place where you are still here in this reality, at least in the physical, but the heart is in the true reality. The true reality of the heart, which is within each and every person but is repressed deeply within them. Yet I could see that I was actually living and interacting with other people from the reality of the heart. Still very focused on women and the feminine. Feeling an energy emanating from that wasn’t so much something I think I’m imagining but something very real, and giving it to each woman I encounter, all expressed through a very feminine expression coming from me.
It is different from what we might perceive energy to be. It wasn’t some invisible substance that one doesn’t really know if it actually exists. It was truly like being within the energy, the feminine energy, which is this “alternate” reality.
It didn’t feel like being in two places at once nor was it confusing. In some ways, it might be more described by something I written before, how this world and humanity is currently experiencing a collision of universes and I’m actually experiencing it, not so much a what we might perceive a “collision” to be, such as being an great explosion or great crash in which pieces fly all about. There is some sense of destruction, on this destruction is in the breaking down of the dominant reality and the rising of this “alternate” reality that is more blending in rather than colliding with a great crash.
The true destruction will come with the collective storm that will happen to humanity, where they ego will fight to survive, trying with all it’s might to stop it from happening. Trying to convince everyone that the ego reality is the only reality and everything else is just an illusion. Great guilt and shame as well as division will come upon the humans as this collision intensifies. Interestingly enough, all of this can be seen right now as there is a great lacking passing through humanity right now. Many are grasping for anything within this ego reality to try to feel the emptiness within them.
The thing that most humans don’t understand is that, just like the storms that happen in my mind, they too collectively are a mind, an organism. One mind or organism in which each human is much like a neuron and the are all connected by neural pathways. When some fight against or try to change the feelings within the mind that his humanity, it affects the neurons around them and ripples out much like a stone thrown into calm water.
This is the pain that humanity is experiencing right now. A pain that they try to deny that is happening, even though each and every one is experiencing it. Within themselves, in a sense, subconsciously, they are feeling this pain, which could be seen in some ways as lacking. When one feels pain they seek something to ease the pain. This too can be seen as a sense of lacking.
Rather than trying to understand the pain. Not all pain has to be relieved. It merely has to be experienced without fighting against it or trying to change it. This not only will come to relieve the pain, but eliminate the pain. This is how emotional and mental pain is resolved, through facing it, not fighting against it or trying to alter it or change it.
But this isn’t the normal reaction of humans as they try to form lives of pleasure and comfort based on the ego reality and value system. It is to quickly relieve the pain, even if temporarily, so they can continue to enjoy pleasure and comfort. The pain isn’t not eliminated but only masked and will return again, at times even worse and it could even spread even more.
But all of this is happening in a world unseen by the eye. In another reality that most humans deny it’s existence. Yet it is very real. It is the reality of the heart and, as I’ve written many times, there is a great war that is being waged in the reality of the heart. It is from the heart that all things are manifested into the physical reality. What humans are currently experiencing in life is their own manifestation, though possibly not their desire.
A manifestation based on a reality that is an illusion, the ego reality, as the ego itself is nothing more than an illusion, though to humans it is very real. Very real because each and every moment they live and dedicate their lives to validating the ego, much like how some religious people constantly seek some sort of validation to their own beliefs, which is nothing more that validating the ego, so they can say they are right. The ego wants to be right in all things. It’s reality the only reality. It’s feelings the only feelings. That each human is an individual being with no connection to other beings nor to nature itself. It believes itself to be the center of the universe and it’s “god” is there solely to maintain humanity as being the center of the universe in which all life revolves and all life exists. That all life and the universe as a whole exists solely for humans. The human ego.
Well, that’s the best I can describe it today. I did what I could. It’s what I see currently as my heart and I walk along each day into the unknown.