From the Inside Out

Today is a bit cooler than it has been. It seems it won’t break 90 degrees F. today. We get a couple of days relief before it goes back up again. It continues to be dry. The pollen continues to be high which causes me to sneeze but not as much as I was a few days ago. Possibly because of the allergy medication I’ve been taking at night.

Today I am officially fully vaccinated, though I took advantage of not wearing a mask a bit early because of the heat. Life here in the US seems to be finding a new normal of life that somewhat reflects the old normal. Some things are still different.

I noticed that there are fans at the major league baseball games, though more sparse than usual. There are fans at the tennis matches. The grass court season has begun in tennis, which is refreshing after looking at the desert like clay courts for so long. The Nottingham tournament is playing along side the French Open. It’s only a 250 tournament for those lower ranked players but it is so nice to see the beautiful green courts. I also enjoy watching the up and coming players.

It’s been interesting lately to observe the seeming mystery of life. A mystery that comes through the “spiritual” part of life. The unseen which often goes unnoticed by many people, though many would like to see but for some reason can’t see it.

Through my journey I’ve come to live solely within this mystery. Of course, to live in this mystery you have to basically let go of your life and allow life to form around you, rather than trying to form life by force and will.

Forming life by force and will, using a Star Wars metaphor, is using the dark side of the force. Trying to control and contain the force for your own use and not allowing it to flow freely unto all life, which comes through balance and harmony.

This can be seen in the Star Wars story where the Jedi are selfless in their actions while the Sith are seeking power and control over life. This is the main difference between the two and the main difference here in the everyday life of humans.

If one were to use the terms of good and evil this would be the description in general. Of course, most people focus on the results or details of what they term as good and evil and these terms are often very subjective, used to describe things that someone might be afraid of or offended by.

It’s easy to see how some things based on moral laws can actually be viewed from in a practical manner. The fact that they are moral laws is what causes many to rebel against them, mostly because the moral law is based on a fictional authoritarian being who threatens the humans into following the moral laws.

Feeding off of some things I wrote about in my previous post, it is interesting how some of the most simple understandings of the current state of the physical world, or life in society, are often overlooked simply out of rebellion toward these things. People don’t want to be told what to do.

Yet, within some of the things they are “told” to do, they seem to miss the things that would bring more harmony to their lives. Such as personal responsibility. This is something that is very lacking in the society today. I listen to people of all classes who are always blaming others for their distress in life. They blame the system and other outside sources for their problems. They can’t seem to see that the problem is within them, not outside of them.

This lack of personal responsibility then causes them to make many mistakes that further cause difficulties in life. Take sex for example. It’s probably one of the most over rated things in this society. From adolescence, sex is seen as status, especially in boys. Achieving the conquest of the female body is seen with great esteem.

Yet, they don’t see the results of this action, which is the natural result. Having children. This is the main natural function of sex. It’s the only reason for sex. But, of course, humans have exploited it into being something far more than just having children. They use it like a drug. If they don’t feel good or they are stressed, they use sex as some form of temporary relief from their troubles.

Well, then a child arrives and adds to their problems if they aren’t prepared for it.

Then there is the illusion that some young women have where having a child might make them feel better in life. Give them something to live for and hoping that the child will give them the love that they are lacking. Also, hoping that others will give them the love that they are lacking because having a child, much like being ill, might cause others to feel sorry for them and give to them what they feel they are lacking.

Most times this doesn’t work out. Sure, people and the system will be more giving to them for having children but those children are often neglected because within the parents they are not willing to give their children all that they might be lacking, such as love.

Sure, they might give them things to satisfy their temporary feelings of lacking, things that will keep them occupied and out of the way so the parents can do other things but, in the end, they are doing nothing but creating more humans who will experience a great lacking throughout their lives, seeking to fill that lacking with things and experiences outside of them, completely unaware that it is they themselves who are creating this lacking within themselves.

I can say these things because I’ve experienced them. I’ve lived within this lacking, always seeking for things to fill this lacking. Feeling alone because I wasn’t living up to the image for which others might appreciate and desire.

Lately I’ve found it interesting to watch as I’ve reached out several times for mental health therapy. I’ve experienced what I’ve experienced all of my life. Basically, it’s like they are saying that I don’t need what they are offering.

I can’t help but remember back when I was very suicidal and I called the suicide hotline. The man there basically laughed at me. He as chuckling as I was talking with him. He basically said there was nothing he could do. I asked for resources I might call and he said there were none. He said if I was homeless then I might be able to get some resources.

As I look at it now, I can see that it is my fate to be alone, but not lonely. That it is up to me to take full personal responsibility of my life. The reason I’m not alone is that I have my heart to guide me through it all as well as fill all that I once lacked within me.

This is the mystery that I’m talking about. I can’t see my heart but she is definitely there. She is me. My higher self. She is what others term as being “god.” Only they view this “god” as being outside of themselves where the service of this “god” is limited by adhering to “his” moral laws.

“Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!”

Look at this as “god” being your heart, yourself, your higher self. Would you treat yourself terribly or would you love yourself? Would you seek to give yourself good things that bring you health or things that would to you harm?

“But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.”

Again, viewing the “Father” as being your heart, yourself, your higher power. If you do these seemingly selfless things you are actually filling the lacking within yourself while filling the lacking in others. Love others and do good for others, no matter who are what they are doing or what they look like. This is the foundation of harmony and balance.

All of this begins within the self. Doing these things to the self then causes one to do these things for others. Once you are not lacking within you find that you have such a great abundance to give to others.

Yet, this is not the teachings one might find in the society as a whole. It is why it is so divided and everyone is gathering and hoarding solely for themselves and those they love, leaving everyone else out in the cold.

This, of course, goes back to what I was writing yesterday. When there is a great lacking in a person, when they do obtain some sense of having, even if it is temporary, rather than using this to build themselves up, they spend it as quickly as possible. As I said in that post, this is because of a two fold problem. They are ignorant as to how to manage these things because they are reacting to this lacking, trying desperately to fill it, if only temporarily, and they are lacking personal responsibility. Both of which come to them basically from how they were raised.

In a sense, their lives represent the current supply chain of the US, which is to a “just in time” supply chain. They don’t produce until their is a need. They do this to reduce and even eliminate inventory costs. Yet, when there is a disruption to the supply chain, such as a virus or earthquake, they can’t supply the things anymore because they are lacking the materials to produce these things.

They then have to wait for the entire supply chain to settle, which can be very complex as it includes many different parts coming from many different places and the logistics of obtaining this things, all of which had been disrupted. All of this simply because they had no inventory of those parts.

This is how many people, especially poor people live. They live in a reactionary way. They don’t react until they are lacking something. Then they have to move quickly to try to obtain these things. This is often what causes them to have to steal in order to obtain what they need. Compound this with the standards of which the society requires to have any status, which is based on the ability to have more than they need, they then find that stealing or obtaining money and things through alternative methods, which is usually criminal to the society, becomes more than simply obtaining their immediate needs but in gaining greater status through this criminal activity.

Of course, this goes for not only those living in slums but all the way to the top of the society, who find it easier to obtain things through alternative methods rather than through the lawful methods, therefore using crime to enhance their wealth. Sadly, this goes for the government itself, who exploits and uses other countries for their own gain in order to continue supplying this status to them as a country. This is basically trickle down corruption, which is the truth behind trickle down economics.

So, people who are lacking will then react to having something, even if it is temporary, not using it practically but using it to fill a great lacking. A great lacking created by their perspective that all things are filled from the outside in rather than the inside out.