Away From the Chaos

It’s another warm but cloudy day today. This makes it a bit more humid. The wind is blowing so maybe a storm is coming in. The forecast says it will be in the low 70s F. on Thursday. Then, of course, the temperature goes right back up. But that will be a refreshing day. Looking at the longer forecast, out about a week, it seems it will be over 100 degrees for several days and in the high 90s around it. These are late July and August temperatures. Usually when I am saying to myself, “Only a few more weeks and Fall will come.” I can’t say that now as Summer hasn’t even arrived yet.

The say this year will be the worst drought in recorded history. I’ve lived through many droughts, as it is dry here, but never the worst drought in recorded history. It will be interesting. I noticed the business down the road continues to water their grass in the middle of the day in the wind as they were doing today on my way home from work.

It was a very strange day today at work. It started as a normal Monday, rather mellow. Monday’s are my last day before my day off and I’ve made it through the craziness of the weekend so I look forward to a light day.

Well, I had a lot of freight, which isn’t bad for a mellow day. But, around noon, the mellow day changed completely into near chaos.

There were kids everywhere. I wondered why there were so many kids. I also saw a lot of Hispanic people who didn’t even speak English. They didn’t ask anything of me. When they do it’s always a challenge to understand what they are saying.

But all the kids. This was strange for a Monday. They were running around like savages. Some groups went around literally destroying things. For the first time ever I had to ask a group of kids to leave the department because they were throwing hard toys at each other and running full speed through the other customers.

It was interesting because this group was two girls and one boy. The boy was sort of following around with the girls. They were maybe 12 years old. The girls were very mischievous. They would tear down the aisles and the boy would slowly walk out shaking his head. He seemed a little shy and they seemed to be taking advantage of him in some ways. He seemed like a good kid in his heart.

They were running around a place where I was working and they stopped and picked up some hard plastic balls. They saw me and one of the girls said, “Don’t worry. He’s just a stock boy.”

I walked around a corner out of sight to put something on the shelf and I heard one of the plastic balls be thrown on the ground. I came around and the boy was there picking it up. I then said, “I have to ask you to leave.” He started saying while pointing to no one that it was the girls. The girls had run away, leaving him to face any trouble. He stayed and when I came up was picking up the ball and putting it away. I told him to have a good day and not to worry about it. They didn’t come around again.

A little later a mother and about 5 children came through the department. I was in the back room getting some backstock to bring to the floor and stock it. I came up and started stocking and I could hear some kids just having all sort of fun in another aisle. I didn’t think much of it. It is the toy department and I pretty patient with the kids.

I came around to the aisle to put some things on the shelf and they were gone. But they left absolute havoc. Toys all pulled down from the shelves from the beginning of the aisle to the other side. I started putting them back on the shelves.

I came around the corner and saw the mother and the children there with toys all over the floor. Some of the kids had handfuls of toys on their arms. Other toys were lining the aisle on the floor. I just watched them for a minute and the mother started putting some of the toys on the shelves, though far from the right place.

I started following them around, picking up the toys right there in front of them. The mother then started picking up toys and putting them back again on the shelves, though not very neatly. Just laying them anywhere on the shelves.

I cleaned up that aisle and noticed the security guard was in my department, which is rare. He was just doing some busy work in the games aisle, which was strange because there’s nothing really expensive there that he might be monitoring.

I noticed that he as near the mother and their children, who were now throwing and bouncing balls down the main aisle. Some of the balls getting away from them and going into other aisles. I walked pass the security guard and to the mother and children. The mother then asked me where something was. I started to look it up and the security guard told them of a better store to get it. They finally left after about an hour of causing havoc in the department.

I’ve never seen things like this. Not even during Christmas.

It then came to me that the people are not the normal type customers. Like I’ve said before, this store is in an affluent area. I then started observing customers and I could see the normal type customers going about their business and the others rudely going about buying things.

Now, I’ve been out of the loop of current events for a few weeks and don’t see this changing anytime in the near future, but it came to me that it might be possible that they have gotten the tax break checks from the government. A tax break for children to ease child poverty.

If this is the case, here is an issue where I agree with the conservatives. If you just give money away to poor people they will just blow it on crap. Just like when the stimulus checks came up, large screen TVs and video game consoles went flying out the door. As well as carts full of toys and other unnecessary things.

Poor people simply don’t know how to manage their money. In some ways, this is why they are poor. I find it interesting that one of the things my heart had me learn was personal finances. In a short time I’ve gone from terrible credit to haven’t good credit. It’s not great but good. I’ve learned that credit isn’t something to be used to, in a way, hoarded.

Using it only on occasion when it is truly needed. Being that my hours fluctuate at work, there are times I will use my credit to get buy. But I always pay it off before the due date. Therefore I go on without a balance and have all my credit, or most of it as I’m still paying down another card, both at my disposal and also increasing my credit score.

Yet, in the past I didn’t know this simple thing. They gave me credit and I used it. It seemed to me in my ignorance that this is what it is for. To get some things that I can’t necessarily afford. I didn’t buy frivolous things but things I couldn’t necessarily afford and could pay in time.

This is where my stimulus money went. Paying down my debts. I have those stupid college loans that keep me from having ideal credit. But what’s done is done and I will build with what I have.

It’s much the same in my life. More and more my heart has me cut things. Such as smoking, which was a waste of a lot of money. This can go to paying down debts even more. I eat frugally but I’m always filled. In a way, I’ve become very financially conservative. These are things that my heart had me learn. In the past, I had little interest in these things.

I always thought it ironic when I was working for a large global corporation in their accounting office, saving them thousands of dollars each month, and I couldn’t manage my own finances.

But I had the poor mentality. I hadn’t had anything in the past so when I was able to have things, well, I had more things. Again, nothing like many people, but I bought more expensive food and other regular things. Almond butter instead of peanut butter such things.

I don’t think of some other people as being stupid but it is two fold. They are both ignorant and also not willing to take responsibility for themselves. The latter is what I saw a lot today. People who simply believe that if they have some money then other people are there to serve them.

They believe that money means they have some sort of higher status, even if that money is temporarily in their hands. They have it, where before they didn’t, now they believe they should be treated as those who always have money, until they no longer have the money and have to go back to their jobs serving those who have money all the time.

I found it interesting to watch that mother simply watching her children cause havoc with no idea that what they were doing was irresponsible. Thus, these children will go out into the world when their time comes, with little responsibility for themselves.

Again, I can see the conservative point in all of this. Those leaders see all of this going on all around the country. They know that there is this ignorance along with lack of personal responsibility throughout the country, mostly with the poor people.

I don’t think they want to see these people starving but giving them handouts, well, they won’t use it to prevent themselves from starving. They will simply waste it on unnecessary things, as if expressing some sense of frustration at not having this ability on a regular basis and, when it happens, they go crazy with it.

I heard one mother say to her son as he picked out a very expensive Lego set. “Does this make you happy?” The son replied, “Oh yes, very happy.” with a large smile on this face. The mother then smiled also. Feeling satisfied in having given her son something that made him happy.

I really don’t know if I’m making any point here. None of this is new. All of this was merely my observations through my own perspective of a very strange day. I still have no idea why the day was like it was. It simply caused me to express such things.

Other than that, I can tell that I’ve had enough of people and will enjoy not seeing any people for a day. Sure, I will go to the grocery store tomorrow, but I will put in my ear buds, listening to Agnes Obel’s music and ignore everyone around me. Even today, at lunch I pulled out my ear buds and put on Agnes Obel, who has a way of calming me down and giving me deep peace. Many times within only a few minutes.

Yesterday and this morning I could feel myself becoming slightly over stimulated from all the busyness of the weekend. But it was very different than before. I’m learning how to manage my energy each day, rather than always going to the extreme. This allows me to continue sleeping well and not being bothered by it at home.

It’s not like I sit at home thinking about it but I can feel the stress of the over stimulation that comes with my Asperger’s that I’m now aware of and learning to manage.

Like what happened a few weeks ago, which I believe was a lesson to show me that I need to manage myself in this way. That time it was just after the weekend where I entered a terrible storm within myself because I had become so overly stimulated, mostly because I was pushing myself hard.

Now I feel the stress and I know that I need to be away from people for at least a day, but I’m not over stimulated in a way that it is a burden to me. I can simply feel it and I know that it’s time to be kind to myself and just let my mind rest on other things. Uncomplicated and simple things.

Watching tennis, which has been very good. Not on the women’s side but I enjoyed a great match this morning between Djokovic and a young 19 year old Italian player. The Italian was very good and took the first two sets. But Joker took over after that. The young man is good but I think he failed to manage his energy, putting it all out there in the first two sets. Something that Joker knows how to do very well, having played many 5 set matches in his career.

Right now I’m watching Rafa Nadal as he goes on for his 13th win at the French Open. If he can get through all of them. He’s doing well so far.

Then maybe an episode or two of “The Simpsons” and maybe finish one of the Star Wars movies I’ve been watching. I can’t remember the title but’s number 3. Just before “A New Hope.” When Darth becomes Darth.

Spend some time outside earlier in the morning, walking or riding my bike. Just simple things, away from the chaos that has become humanity. At least, humanity in the US.