Being Nobody

It’s a cloudy, humid day. It wasn’t like this all day but it’s how it ended up being once I left work today. They say a stray rain shower might happen but nothing big. It is supposed to be nice and sunny tomorrow, which is nice because it’s my day off from work.

I’m again in a place where it is hard to write out all that my heart is showing to me. The last couple of days I’ve been exploring what it is that I’m seeing but it’s more like swimming through murky water and trying to make out the images as I see them.

Even so, what I’ve been writing has been affecting me in great ways. As I’ve said, what I write becomes real within me. It’s more like a preparation for what is now coming through. Putting me into the proper perspective.

It’s sort of interesting how it began. About a week ago I came to a point where the things I had been streaming to watch on TV weren’t satisfying anymore. I still watch tennis but the other things I have lost interest in them.

So I looked around for something else to watch, which is always a difficult search for me. I decided to look at some things that I had purchased in the past and I came upon the TV show “Fringe.”

I had tried to watch this again a few years ago but found little interest in it. I really enjoyed it about 10 years ago, so much that I bought all the seasons. Well, this time it caught my attention.

As I watched I began to notice something within it. The story line is really not believable. The FBI agent moves about the city and the world seemingly without any obstacles getting in her way. One minute she is in Boston and the next she is in Iraq. At one point she has 24 hours to save the life of a person and has to go to Germany to meet with a man who can save this person. Well, it all happens like clockwork, with a little conflict happening here and there.

All that aside, it is a good story overall. I really enjoy Dr. Bishop, his lighthearted madness is very enjoyable.

Yet I began to see something within it. I reminded me of something I used to see in the show “Battlestar Galactica” which was beyond the actual story line. It was as if there was a story within the story. Even something subliminal within it being expressed beyond the actual storyline. Somewhat like I describe in books I’ve read in how there are layers within the story. Most people simply see the outside layer of the story but within the story is seemingly many layers within it.

Anyway, I started watching a couple of episodes a night of “Fringe” and realized that it wasn’t so much a layering but it was opening my mind to possibilities. Something I had somehow lost from when I was in the heart of my journey, where anything seemed possible. I had sort of gotten lost in simply what I was seeing around me and not being able to see beyond it.

My heart has made my focus on the Israel/Palestinian conflict, which has given me the opportunity to learn more than just about the conflict. I’ve learned that the main Israeli lobbyists in the US are actually not Israeli but are the Christian Evangelicals, mainly those in the Southeast US.

They are very interested in maintaining the State of Israel simply because they believe it is prophetic in bringing about Armageddon, which will then bring about the return of Jesus.

It’s interesting that the Jews are waiting for the Messiah, who they don’t believe has ever come yet and the Christians are waiting for their Messiah, who they believe has been here and will again return to transform the Earth.

All of this relates to Israel, though some Jews don’t believe that the State if Israel actually represents Judaism.

All in all, Israel has become much like the center of the human universe. For many imperialist countries, it is very much needed as a military base of sorts. It is the only cooperative country in the region for the Western imperialist powers. This is why Israel is able to get away with what they are doing to the Palestinian. I can see the Palestinians as much like the Native Americans who once populated the US but then were nearly annihilated so the imperial powers could control the land they once inhabited.

In many ways, this is what the imperial powers want with the entirety of the Middle East, though it’s not as easy for them to do it there, thus we have seemingly endless wars going on as they try to control this region. Wars that bring great profits to those who make the things needed for war. Win or lose many profit from them so winning isn’t necessarily the desire because winning means the end of war and thus the end of the easy profits.

All the while, it is there where the Christians believe the war that ends all wars will happen, when all the countries will come together and clash in one great and final battle, ushering in the day their Messiah returns. Therefore, all of this is important to them to bring forth the prophecies of the book they dedicate their lives to serving.

It’s interesting that they are actually forcing these things to happen. A simple book of words is basically causing all of this to happen. Not because what the book is saying is inevitably going to happen because it is said in the book that it will happen. No. It’s because they are going to make it happen.

I find this very interesting. They want so much to prove that what they believe is true that they will go to great lengths to make it happen, even by forcing it to happen.

All in all, my heart showed me something this morning that truly blew my mind. It actually made me dizzy at one time. Yesterday I wrote about how humanity is one organism and one consciousness. What is done in one part of humanity affects the whole of humanity, therefore all are to blame for all the suffering in the world. Only if they are in harmony with themselves would true harmony, equality, unity and peace come to be in their lives, which is seemingly what most people desire, even though they themselves are causing the disharmony.

Well, she showed it to me in a way that really amazed me. Humanity is like a brain. Each human is like a neuron. Each neuron connects to a neural pathway. This pathway then connects to other pathways and ultimately to the entire brain.

In a way, this describes the human stream of consciousness that I’ve often wrote about, only it gives it much more detail.

Even so, the humanity brain is part of a great brain and that brain is part of a greater brain. Basically, the humanity brain is simply a neuron in the greater brain and that brain is a neuron is an even greater brain. Just as we as individual humans are neurons within this brain, which affects the brain as a whole, the humanity brain also affects the greater brains.

My heart pointed out that this describes what physicist have come to find in their equations as universes. That there are infinite universes.

The consciousness or brain of humanity is a universe. Then she showed me that here on this planet alone are millions of universes. It reminded me of something I would think back in my early 20s. I would look at the ants and butterflies and wonder what time is like for them. Their life span is much shorter than humans but do they perceive having lived a full life, much like humans, though some of them only live for maybe a couple of weeks?

Yes, I used to think of many things that others deemed strange. We’ve all determined by now that I’m very strange.

Yes, these insects and other beings are part of other conscious brains. Brains that affect the humanity brain and all the other brains.

Of course, this is all a metaphor, not literal. But from this I could see a great network of neural pathways filling the world in front of me, though it was all images in my mind. I got lost in it because I was able to trace through pathways and would literally get lost within them but one goes this way and then it goes another way into another pathway.

Well, I couldn’t get lost because I am within it myself.

This is the best I can describe it all in words. At one point, when I began to feel dizzy as I traveled through all of these images, I asked my heart, “Why do I get to see all of this.”

This time she said, “Stop wondering why. Just go with it. Each time you wonder why it only prevents you from truly experiencing it all. Just let yourself go into it.”

I guess it’s because, in a way, I still see myself as being nothing, mostly in accordance to human standards within their limited world. How can someone like me who is nothing in this world be given such amazing things? Well, to most people this wouldn’t be amazing for them. It might even be frightening for them.

This all reminded me of all the powerful psychological events I’ve experienced in my life, most of which many people couldn’t have endured, yet for me, though they were difficult to pass through, they were all simply experiences for me.

I have always been an explorer. Open to go into the uncharted lands of the spiritual realm. A realm that makes up all that we see with our limited eyes, and so much more that these limited eyes can’t see. It amazes me that I get to see these land. A nobody like me.