It turned out to be a nice day today with sunshine yet still cool. The birds are singing and I’m always amazed at how quickly the leaves come out on the trees. It is different from day to day. Even some bushes that seemed to be waiting to come out, from one day to the next, at least this is how it appeared, they are fully out with leaves.
I walked over to another store to buy some things I can only get there. Of course I ended up buying more. Things simply cost less there. I was able to get 3 pounds of frozen berries there for $3 less than the 2 pound bag at the other store. When I was shopping at the other store yesterday I sadly didn’t buy them because it was just too expensive for me right now, though it means going without my smoothies. So now I don’t have to go without.
I then looked into getting more things to keep me away from eating meat. Since I will never give up cheese I decided to go back to eating things I did before when I wasn’t eating meat, like tator tots with cheese on them. Though I might splurge a little and put some bacon bits on them also simply because I still have a little bag of bacon bits that I need to eat. I just won’t buy more.
Tennis is slow today because Madrid is over, at least for the women. Ash Barty lost. Sabalenka was on fire, hitting the ball as hard as she could. Damn power hitters. They think they can just aggressively overpower their opponent.
The fun part was that this didn’t really bother Ash. She simply played her game of variety and creativity, which was working until it seems she became injured. She is not one to make a case about being injured but, in between games, she was seen massaging her quad muscle and, after this, she was slower.
Rome starts tomorrow and her loss won’t lose her many points in her rating, remaining number 1, so it might have been better to lose and be able to fight again another day.
I found an interesting new snack that I found to be very nutritious. At work they often put out boxes of things that are coming due on their expiration dates for us to enjoy. This time they put out boxes of seeds and nuts. They had luxurious selections such as almonds and pine nuts, not just little bags but full containers. I saw Pepitas, otherwise known as shelled pumpkin seeds and decided to get those instead of those others.
When I got home I looked up the nutrition on them and wow they are very nutritious, filled with magnesium and other things.
The next day all the almonds and pine nuts were gone but there were still pepitas so I got another container. Yesterday I bought more because it is a great snack that is also rather high in protein. I found it interesting that I could have bought a 14 ounce container that actually cost more than buying two 9 ounce containers. So I bought two 9 ounce containers. It’s just one of those things that doesn’t necessarily make sense but I always watch for because it happens now and then.
I find it interesting that everything is beginning to loosen up and open here. They have removed the State mandates and people are free again. The virus cases have gone down. People are even beginning to travel again. In a way, this seemed to happen overnight. It just came out of nowhere. Even so, in other parts of the world the virus in rampaging.
Maybe it has to do with the vaccine now being so available here. There are stockpiles while in other parts of the world they have yet to receive even one dose. Still, they haven’t reached the percent they need to declare herd immunity or whatever they call it.
Now many companies are having trouble finding people to work for them. It’s back to an individual’s market rather than the other way around. Companies are begging for people to work for them now. They believe it’s because of the extra unemployment benefits the government is currently giving out. People are making more from not working than if they were working.
Well, last week or so, when I had that frustrating meeting with my manager about my schedule, I came home and filled out an application for another store that I previously worked at. The one I shopped at today. I didn’t complete the assessment because I wasn’t sure if I wanted to do it.
When I was leaving the store today they had signs all over looking for applicants. Much like where I currently work where they can’t give me the schedule I desire because they can’t find anyone to work those hours. They did give me a decent schedule though which will work for me.
Still, I found it interesting that, when I came home, I felt compelled to complete the assessment and therefore fully submit the application. I know that what I need most is a regular, consistent schedule, which I know I could get there. I wouldn’t have to be scheduled 20 hours a week and then each day they ask me if I want to work more. They would simply give me a full week there. I might make a little less but it would be about the same with full hours. Plus, it is much closer to home.
Still, I don’t know if It will happen. I’m pretty happy where I’m at but, just as I wrote in my last post, something is changing. I can even see myself finally going in to talk with the manager who does the scheduling at my current job, telling him about my Asperger’s and explain to him that I’m not looking for special privilege but I have to find a way to have a consistent, routine schedule, even if it means working in different departments. They need flexibility but I can use that need and make it work for me by working in several different departments or possibly moving to another one that is offering full hours.
This has become my focus as I know this will help me in so many other ways, such as not feeling so tired and helping me resolve the feeling of chaos I have in my personal life where I can’t fully make decisions because I’m so frazzled in my mind at times, sleeping strange hours and having no routine.
Routine has become the focus and the first step I am doing in managing my Asperger’s.
I know my heart, the universe, is there guiding me as she always does and, well, finishing that application was done in the moment from an inspiration that came to me while I was putting away the things I bought.
So, like always, we will simply see what happens but it seems the moment has become a moment of movement and change to accommodate my Asperger’s who has to be accommodated because it’s not going away. I have to work with it, not against it. I work with it and I know, much like a cog in a machine, it will cause other sprockets and cogs to move properly. Fix the core routine and all other routines will come into movement and will affect me overall.
Just got an alert from the Weather Channel saying that a tropical storm has formed in the Pacific off Mexico, the earliest on record. Here we go, another year of crazy weather.
So I took some time away from writing this post. I made some tator tots with cheese and then sat down to look for something to watch, which is always a difficult thing for me, where I usually just go back to those few things I do enjoy and watch them over and over again.
I tried to watch an episode of X Files but wasn’t interested in it. So I browsed some more. I came upon a movie that I’ve seen displayed many times, passing it over. But today my heart had me stop. She explained to me to watch this movie but not for the subject that it is based on but to observe the person herself.
It is called, “I Am Greta.” A documentary about Greta Thunburg.
Now, before this movie, all I knew about her was the scene of her speaking at the UN, where she is overly emotional and seemingly erratic. I didn’t think much of her then when I saw this short speech. Maybe even viewing her as others in the media viewed her, as being somewhat irrational.
It was one of the first lines of the movie, spoken by her, that caught my attention. She said something like, “It seems that only those with Asperger’s and Autism can see through the noise.”
I actually stopped the movie and replayed this to make sure I heard it right. Then later in the movie I saw that she has Asperger’s.
Then to hear all the brutal attacks on her from the media, calling her mentally ill and that her parents are exploiting her. Some telling her to shut up and go to school to learn about reality.
The interesting thing was that she literally took the time to read and watch these things being said about her. She would ask things like, “I don’t know why they invite me to speak because no one is listening to me.”
She would go to protests and the people would say, “They are here for you.”
She would reply, “No. They are here for themselves. For everyone.”
She didn’t want to be the hero or in the spotlight. She said that she doesn’t like socializing. She doesn’t like light talk. She doesn’t enjoy any of this. Yet, she believes in her heart that she needs to do something.
They treated her like a rock star. They would chant at the protests, “Greta! Save the world!” and things like that. She would say things like, “You need to change the world.”
She definitely has Asperger’s because she is very pointed in what she says. She doesn’t hold back. Much like I am in this blog. I know that few people are listening even though I am stating the fact that they are leading themselves into self destruction. I don’t expect anyone to listen. My heart has pounded it into me that I’m not here to save humanity. She has also showed me in detail why they don’t listen or seem to care.
Humanity must run their course. Only then will they become aware of their true reality. Maybe there will only be a handful left by that time but this is all that matters to the universe, that balance and harmony comes to this part of the universe. A planet that is so out of balance because of one species who is so egotistic and arrogant that they can’t see that they are a feral species running out of control and that, yes, they are the ones, not destroying the Earth, but destroying themselves.
Yet, I know why. I know that this is the role that they have been taught to play. It seems cruel. My heart has shown me their potential beauty. I have seen it clearly, as if it was real and here now. It is here and real now, only they don’t live for that beauty.
They live to do what they have been taught to do, to satisfy their ego through filling it with the emptiness of material gain and status. An emptiness that never fills the ego because the ego, an illusion, cannot be filled. It can’t be filled because it doesn’t exist. It is an illusion. An illusion that most of humanity has chosen to dedicate their lives to serving.
Well, it can only be expected because those who created humans are the same. They live for their egos and this they taught to their “children.” It’s interesting to know that humanity isn’t the only being on the brink of destruction. It is also those who brought them into conscious awareness only to use them for their purposes, as nothing more than a resource.
No, it’s not humanity’s fault for what they are doing. It’s not their fault that they are destroying themselves. Ironically, everything they are doing falls right into the natural laws. The natural laws of a feral species who has no predators. They will consume until there is nothing more to consume, just at their parent species, who came to Earth to obtain resources to help try to save their own planet from destruction because of their own over use of their planet.
Now two planets are suffering and neither species will survive intact. Both are now collapsing. This is why humanity has been left unmanaged by this species for the most part. They are concerned with other issues based on their egos. Power struggles within their ranks, just as the same is happening to humanity.
But humanity isn’t alone. They never were alone. They have been simply blinded by vanity. Held captive by their own animal desires, used to manipulate them into doing what they are doing. Yes, they can’t see that what they are doing is complete madness.
Much like a drug addict, whose veins are nearly completely collapsed from injecting the drug into them so much and their lives nearly ending because of their self destructive desire for the drug, yet they still tie off their arm, seeking out a vein of some use, and stick the needle in, so as to experience a moment or two of relief before having to do it again and again until, well, the finally die from it.