It’s a nice Spring day. Warm with a bit of a breeze to keep it feeling cooler. I only had to wear a light jacket to work this morning and it was too much on my way home. Of course, this is only before a large storm expected to come in on Monday, but it leaves a nice weekend ahead of me to enjoy.
A weekend that I really need. Lately I’ve noticed that time has seemed to slow down for me. The movement of time, whether fast or slow is an illusion. For years it seemed that time was going faster and faster for me. A work day would pass so quickly, turning into weeks, months and then years, all moving so quickly that I couldn’t believe how fast life as passing by.
I once saw a video about time. They said that time seems to move faster because our minds become so filled with concerns, worries and expectations that time seems to just fly by and there isn’t enough time to do all the things we are concerned about, worried about or expecting to do.
Well, I’m at a point where I can look back on the past month, which has been a great experience. Having spent two years in a great spiritual awakening that I didn’t want to end because I was so immersed into that spiritual world and didn’t ever want to come back to the physical existence, mostly because I was afraid of the physical existence since all my life it had been a place where, well, I suffered terribly.
I noticed that this past month has been spent solely in the physical, and I didn’t really mind. Though it was in the physical, I can now see that it was all part of the spiritual experience. I needed to see my physical self as it really is.
I learned that I have Asperger’s. At first it was hard for me to accept. Over time I’ve come to accept it and even welcome it finding so many wonderful qualities within it. It was also sort of an awakening. I was awakened to the “demon” that is no longer a demon. The thing that seemed to separate me from everyone else. Now I can work with those things and understand why I am as I am.
Then came a point that I wrote about lately where I felt like I was going through a transformation. It came after a rather dark period. A dark period that I didn’t fight but simply allowed myself to experience. I wasn’t afraid of it nor did I try to change it. I simply walked through it as nothing more than an experience like any other experience that I might walk through.
I found that, when this dark period ended, I was different. I had learned many things within that dark period. My perspective changed. And when I woke from that darkness, this transformation was waiting for me. I found it interesting a thought that went through my mind at the time.
“I died, went through darkness and was then resurrected.” This happened over and over in life but most of the time, at least for me, I would fight it and never get from it what it was supposed to bring to me. What it was giving to me.
With each resurrection comes a new life, or a new perspective of life. It grows and expands. You see, I have always feared the darkness and usually fight it terribly. Many times going into great states of anxiety within it. This time, I was able to simply walk through it, much like just walking through a rainstorm, not seeking cover or to escape the deluge. I just let it soak me to the bone without any concerns or worries.
Then the sun came out from behind the clouds, and the world was a different place.
I found it interesting that at that point I could understand what Alan Watts talks about as it all is just a game. How culture and society has come to define the lives of most humans and they are so engrossed by it, much like watching a good movie with good actors, you lose yourself into the movie and it all becomes so real. You feel scared or sad as the actors experience different things within the movie. You lose all sense of time and space around you as you watch the movie, completely engrossed into what you are experiencing in the movie, as if it is real.
This is what the illusion of culture and society has become for people. They see it as their reality, even though it’s nothing more than a movie. It’s a game. As Alan said, yes, you pay your bills and do the things within the society, always knowing that it’s just a game, but you are not in the game, nor within the society. It is not your reality. It’s simply a game that tries to scare you and put fear into you, but in the end, there is nothing it can do to you because it’s nothing but a game, a show, a movie. There is nothing to fear.
Well, in many ways, this is where I have landed, not so much intending to be here. Much more like I entered and a door and all of this simply formed around me and within me. Much like everything that happened during my two year spiritual experience. I had no control over the experience. I simply kept going forward and everything seemed to simply form around me and within me.
So, with this, time seems to have slowed down. My mind isn’t filled with concerns, worries and anxiety over life. I simply wake up each day and go forward into the day, allowing the day to form around me, rather than me trying to form the day and the events of the day.
Instead of being an actor, I allow the universe to act upon me and through me, expressing herself through me as I simply walk through this thing we call life, though it is nothing more than a simple experience. Nothing more than the simple experience that I had over the past month, which came, I experienced it while I was within it, and then it left, replacing it with another experience.
This is all life, as we call it, is.
Well, something happened this morning that just came about. I finally gave in and scheduled an appointment for the vaccine. It was interesting how it all came about.
I learned that the reason I was “afraid” of it before was simply because I felt I was going against something my heart had taught me. To not view the virus as an enemy and to not be afraid of it.
I realized at that moment that all lifeforms, even a virus, is conscious. They are just at different levels of consciousness. A dog has conscious awareness, just not as high as humans. Even the virus has consciousness. The reason they have consciousness is that they both play upon and played upon by perspective. Anything physical and with some sort of atomic structure, including supposedly inanimate objects such as rocks, have a sense of consciousness. They both play upon and are played upon my perspective.
It’s like how crystals can have an affect on our lives and we can affect the crystals.
By seeing the virus as an enemy, like with anything that is fought against, it will fight back.
I found it interesting that just after I had thought about these things, I saw a video about how most all US news about the virus is negative. They rarely talk about anything positive, even that of how the vaccine is having a positive effect.
They said that they did a study and found that 84% of all US news stories about the virus were negative.
Well, the perspective of many people is formed through the news media. The news media is promoting that the virus is an enemy that has to be defeated and thus this becomes the narrative in the minds of the people.
One might view this in the terms of the power of positive thinking.
So, why get the vaccine. I watched a few news videos of a new concern they are having. Vaccine appointments are now going unfilled. They have given the vaccine to all the people who were excited for it and now they are at a point where there is only those who don’t really care either way and those who are hesitant.
I found it interesting that one of the videos talked about how a health organization is now talking about how there should be a mandate for everyone to get the vaccine.
Well, I’m sure there won’t be Federal or State mandate, but they don’t have to do this. They can do it by peer pressure. Such as having corporations mandate it as a condition for employment. Or you can’t go certain places or do certain things without having had the vaccine. Such as flying on a plane. If you have had the vaccine you don’t have to quarantine for 14 days.
Well, this reminded me of something else my heart had taught me. To go along with the society in things that will prevent me from being able to freely move about the society.
I then thought about the vaccine itself and all the variants that are coming to life every day. The vaccine isn’t really a vaccine and it is specific to some variants but not all.
It came to mind that this might be more like taking an antibiotic. It might help take care of one condition but it only causes the bacteria to mutate and then it is no longer effective. What if this vaccine does the same, simply because it doesn’t prevent a person from getting the virus, it only makes it so they don’t get it as bad. They still get it and they can still spread it, what if what they are spreading will be some sort of mutated virus?
What I found interesting was, by waiting, the place where I was previously going to get the vaccine was no longer offering it. Yet now, the place I originally wanted to get the vaccine from but they didn’t offer it at that time, is now offering it.
Well, all that really doesn’t matter much. I’m doing it, not to fight against the virus but to simply go along with society so as to be able to freely move about within it. It’s all just part of the game and, it is all within my perspective of doing it. Just like paying a bill. Paying bills doesn’t define me nor is it a concern or worry. By doing so it merely keeps the service going for me.
Unlike how others view people who don’t pay their bills as freeloaders and useless people. If I don’t pay my bills I would still be the same person. I simply wouldn’t have the service. If I owe companies and I don’t pay them, this doesn’t define me nor does it become my perspective of who I am. I am still the same person, it is others who would define me based on the perspective illusion that they are living within.
Well, again, this is the best I can describe what I’m experiencing. Like with past experiences, I can only do my best to describe them, especially when their new and still forming.