In the Moment

It’s been a cold week. The wind has been blowing and storms pass by, sometimes dropping a little moisture and other times nothing but clouds. According to the forecast it is supposed to become warmer next week.

It’s been more and more difficult to write lately. Mostly because I really don’t have much to say. Yet it does make me feel better when I do write. I try to keep it simple now. I don’t indulge much in political and other things all that much. I do keep an eye on what is going on but I don’t feel all that affected by it or that I care all that much.

I have noticed that as cities try to kick out homeless people from camps people are standing up and protesting these moves. There was one man here in this city who was put into jail for helping the homeless as they were being moved. The next day he was back at the camp picking up things they left behind so as to bring it to them in the new place they were placed.

A few days ago I saw a video about how Dutch people view Americans. I found it interesting. Being that I live in the US, their stereotypes were pretty much spot on. They said that Americans only think about themselves. That they are fake, always smiling or seemingly happy yet it doesn’t seem real or authentic.

As I was watching they were on a busy street in Amsterdam. On the road behind them all I could see were bicycles going on all directions. All down the sidewalks bicycles were parked. Then one of the people said that Americans all have cars where the Dutch mostly ride bikes or walk.

I found this interesting because I ride my bike everywhere and I’m often mocked for doing so, or people feel sorry for me because I ride a bike. The police look at me because they think I’m a homeless person or a threat because I ride a bike or my kick scooter.

In America, the first thing that defines you as a person of the society is if you have a car. If you don’t have a car people literally view you as being less than the rest. I’ve had friends who said they would never ride a bus or anything like that.

For me, it just seems natural to build my life up around me in close proximity to what I need and not have to venture off to far away places all the time. Most people where I work live at least 10 miles away. The store I work in is in an affluent neighborhood where the rent is high so they live on the other side of town where the rent is less, some people driving over an hour to get to work. I actually feel sorry for them.

I also see these things each day as I see people going shopping and filling their carts with so many unnecessary things. Now that the stimulus money has been distributed, they are literally emptying the shelves. It’s almost like Christmas again with the freight coming in. Only now there are far fewer workers to do the work. I am getting very tired from running around all day doing so much work.

One of the young women I’ve worked with in the past told me they might be hiring in the bakery. She herself went over to the deli. She was talking abotu how she sometimes misses the work over where I am because now she often has down time. Oh, how I would like to have a little down time. I’m constantly running from the moment I get there to the moment I leave.

Today I saw here again, after having done nearly two days of work in one day yesterday, not quite completing it, then having to come in early this morning to complete not only my work from yesterday but some of the work in other departments who weren’t able to complete their work from yesterday. Then start my work for today. My legs feel numb when I get home and finally sit home.

So I said to her, “So, you say they are planning on hiring in the bakery.” She said that she will ask for me and see if they are hiring. I would still be in the same store working for the same company, I just wouldn’t have to spend my day running around all day. I would also be working most for and with women. I work much better with and for women.

We will see where that goes. I know they wouldn’t want to lose me where I am now. Yet they continue to keep the hours low so that I can’t get any help.

My heart keep me focused on one thing. She says that by doing this, once that one thing comes to be reality then it will cause other things to move and then I can move on those things. Right now it is my credit and improving it. I have a basic plan that should cause it to increase over the next few months.

I still go off looking at the larger picture. I guess I could say that right now all I am living for is to clean up the mess I’ve gotten into over the past 15 years or so before my journey began. I didn’t do any of this type of cleaning during the journey because it had nothing to do with it. Now I can focus on it. It’s important now.

I’ve found that when I indulge in more philosophical things it actually irritated me or causes unrest in me. I sleep peacefully through the night when I just watch simple shows before going to bed. Mostly “The Big Bang Theory” lately. I have the first 4 seasons and I just keep going through them. They are relatively light and simple.

The other night I watched a movie called, “Close Encounters of the Fifth Kind.” I have seen it on the listings for a long time but never found any interest in it. For some reason I decided to watch it. I was surprised at how they depicted “extraterrestrials.” it was much different from what I expected.

The most interesting thing was that their depiction was exactly what my heart had taught me about greater beings within the universe who are not so much technologically advanced but more advanced in consciousness.

My heart described their interstellar travel as traveling upon the stream of consciousness. In this movie they described it as interdimensional travel. I also found it interesting how it was not so much focused on the “aliens” but on consciousness and higher consciousness.

All in all, it was interesting but that night I had a terrible night of sleep because of it.

I just have to keep it all simple. This is a Taoist concept. To keep thoughts simple. It’s funny how when I indulge in more complex thinking, such as listening to Alan Watts, I find that I wake up with the energy zaps that can lead to panic attacks if I were to allow my thoughts to connect with them. When I don’t listen to or watch such things then I sleep peacefully, not always through the night, but I don’t wake to that feeling but am able to simply lie in bed and enjoy the moment of being there.

I also started listening to a babbling brook flow. I first a playlist with just rain, which was nice, but later they would add thunder and this would wake me up. So I decided to listen to a playlist with nothing but a babbling brook, which sounds like rain without the thunder. It is so nice and helps with my sleep, giving a sort or white noise to block out any sudden noises that might happen in the night.

Well, to be honest, that’s about it. Nothing great or spectacular going on. I’m just focused on increasing my credit. When it is up to a certain point then it will cause other things to come into play, at least this is what my heart says. All I know is that if I only focus on this and not on the whole picture of all the things I need to clean up around me in my life, then I’m not bothered by much of anything. It’s only when I find my thoughts drifting into other aspects of the picture that I become bothered and sometimes a little anxious.

“Just one thing at a time.” My heart teaches me. I can see that by doing this makes it all happen on it’s own time, at the right time, and not on my time or anyone elses time. Just let the water in my life clear, rather than constantly muddying it up all the time. Patiently living in the present.