Walking on New Legs

It’s a cloudy day after a couple of very sunny and even warm days. It seems another storm has arrived. Only a small one as the forecast states it will be sunny and warm this weekend before going back to cooler and more stormy weather next week.

A lot has happened in the past few days. A lot of unexpected things. The day before yesterday I was looking a videos on YouTube when I came upon one by After Skool that I had seen before but really had no interest in it. I really didn’t know the person they were quoting in the video other than by name.

The only reason I decided to watch it was because it was about human evolution through flowers. I enjoy flowers so I thought it might be interesting.

I found it quite thought provoking. At the end, they put up an image of the book it was from. The moment I saw the book I had an intense desire to have it. My heart said, “Get that book.”

My first thought was that I can’t afford it right now. My heart said, “Go to the library.”

I went to the online site of the local library and put in his name. At first I was disappointed to find that all of his books had been checked out. That is, until I came up this particular book, where the audio book had not been checked out. I prefer an audio book.

I began listening to it, the beginning being what was quoted by After Skool. Then it went into the his introduction into the book, the book being read by the author. He said that this is not an interesting book. It’s not meant to be interesting. It’s meant to awaken you. It is meant for those people who have become awakened or for those on the edge of being awakened. Other people might enjoy it and others might not understand it all.

So I started listening to the book. It definitely wasn’t foreign to me. Everything he as saying my heart has been teaching me for two years. He even used many of the same metaphors. It was strange because it was like he had been on the same journey as I had been on.

He also used two primary sources, the same ones that I do. The teachings of Jesus and the Tao Te Ching.

This really caught my attention.

Well, it was later in the day and I had already taken my medication so I fell asleep with it running in the background. It played all night as I woke up periodically, listened for a few minutes then fell back to sleep.

By the next morning it was well into the book, toward the end. So I put it back to where I figured it was about the time when I first went to sleep and let it run again.

I was understanding it but much of it I already knew. Like he said, it really wasn’t interesting. It wasn’t until later in the book that I really became interested.

I didn’t get to this point by accident though. It was really strange yesterday. I had been watching videos, not listening to the book. I was going to write but my computer received another Windows update and I decided to let it install. I figured it would only be about 15 minutes at most. The update took several hours to complete.

I went to take a shower and when I came back the update was still going on and I noticed that the Internet was down. I verified that the Internet was down on my phone. Well, this left me with only the book to listen to.

The Internet stayed down all night. It still wasn’t up when I woke up early this morning. So last night until bedtime I listened to the book. This morning before work I listened to the book.

Now the Internet is back up again and I have a completely new way of viewing life because of listening to the book.

It’s not so much a new perspective but a new perception of life. It’s not really new as I’ve touched it many times, especially earlier in my previous journey. I simply didn’t comprehend what it was that I was experiencing. And it as sort of fleeting because of this. It would come and go.

It’s really simple and my heart had taught it to me long ago and she has used it many times when I’ve been in states of mind that could be termed as being irrational.

Stop thinking. Be in the moment. Yet, what he is teaching is to stay there.

As I began to practice it, it came very easily for me. I thought about if I had come across this book even a year ago it wouldn’t have been so easy for me. I might not have even understood it, the language that he is speaking.

The more I practiced it, focusing on the things he had said to watch for, such as when the ego would pop in, I could see that I was truly becoming who I truly am. I was becoming the observer. I was becoming my heart and the person I have always been was the ego.

This is why I would view my heart has being separate from me, my teacher. She is who I truly am, my awareness, and I am my ego. I wasn’t ready to let go of ego completely yet. In some ways, I was afraid to let go of ego. I felt it was disconnect me entirely with this physical reality of which I had to still interact with.

He teaches, just as my heart has taught me, that both realities coexist. The ego will still be there but the trick is to no longer be the ego but to become the observer, the true self, and then simply observe the ego and simply observe life, or form, the physical reality, without judging it or even putting thought to it. Simply experience it.

I have to say, it was like putting on new legs as I went out into the world with this view. At first I felt somewhat awkward as I went about my tasks. Not connected to the tasks as I used to be connected to them, which was separating the tasks from the whole of reality, just was we do with form as a whole. Form is separate from the spiritual reality. I was separate from my heart.

Instead, I became connected to my tasks as part of the tasks of the whole of existence. As we are all connected through the whole of existence. We are not separate entities.

Time didn’t exist, only the moment. The moment is all that exists. This is the thing about the book, the reason many might find it to be uninteresting is that he simply repeats himself over and over just in different ways. He uses different stories to say the same thing, as if speaking it through different perspectives.

Of course, I didn’t maintain it perfectly all day. I would go in and out of ego, but I was aware if ego. I was observing ego as it came in and out. As he said, this is actually beneficial. It’s not about destroy ego. It’s about becoming the observer of ego and then being able to disconnect with ego. Where ego isn’t the ruler of my life but I, as my heart, is the ruler. Not so much a ruler but the observer who guides ego, just as my heart guided me as ego.

Well, it did make for an interesting day and I’m sure as it expand it will make for many more very interesting days.