Here We Are

Today I decided to take one hour, thrity nine minutes and fifity seven seconds to watch the current movie by Michael Moore entitled, “Planet of the Humans.”

For me, it was one of the most beautiful movies I’ve ever seen. In this movie, they depicted in detail everything my heart has shown me over the past two years of the fate of humanity. In this movie, you can see in vivid detail humanity destroying themselves.

It was very powerful and, as I said, coincided greatly with the images my heart showed me throughout my journey. These are images I’ve lived with all of my life. In a way, because I’ve held these images within me, they could be part of my anxiety as a whole.

This wasn’t a movie that had a hopeful ending other than the only way out of this for humanity is complete change in how they live. One of the final statements in the movie was:

“If we can get ourselves under control then anything is possible.”

My question then was, “But is that possible?”

I have to admit, after watching it I did feel a bit, well, down. Even though I have known this all along it was hard seeing it in vivid detail. All the greed and deception in everything that most humans do. How humans lie to themselves everyday to justify what they are doing.

The irony of all of this is that my journey is the very depiction of what it would take for humanity to save themselves. They must become awakened ot the truth that they must be honest with themselves and with the world around them. They can no longer hide who they truly are. They must come to terms with their own mortality. With death.

So that they can live rather then believing in some “god” who they believe will clean up their mess somehow and, on the other side, that somehow they can alter the direction they are going without changing their way of life so as to live. Both are the same delusion.

It’s interesting that they said in this movie that humans must simply start using less. Procreating less. Being more responsible and disciplined.

I can’t believe how much people have mocked me for riding a bike or my scooter. Not always mocked me but felt sorry for me because I have to ride home in the rain or snow. I have never minded doing so. I ride when the temperature is well below freezing and when it is very hot.

I never expected anyone else to do the same. All I knew is that I have to do it because I love life, all of life, that much.

I have built a life that, yes, does have a carbon footprint, but one can’t help but have a carbon footprint in this modern world. The food I eat has to be planted, harvested and transported. I have things shipped to me. The one thing that makes it all different for me is that I’m very aware of it while most others aren’t.

When I start to throw out a few pieces of dices onion that I didn’t use, I imagine not only the onion giving it’s life for me to eat it but all that went into getting me that onion. So I take them off the cutting board and I eat them, purely out of respect for them.

Yes, when I’m at work and see all the people filling their carts with plastic things, spending money like there is no tomorrow, I think of all the people, both here in the US and throughout the world, who don’t have enough to eat or even have a place to sleep.

It’s been that way for me all of my life and possibly is part of why I experience anxiety.

Yet, within it all, as I myself have become awakened through a grand journey within myself that has now become a journey where what is within me is now to being expressed to the world. Learning of new ways to have personal interactions with people. Again, I’m experiencing what humanity needs to experience to save themselves. The need to commune with each other and come together with each other.

I have been thinking about ways I could get more personal interaction. Maybe more after we are able to go out more after the pandemic or when it becomes more manageable. As I thought of these things, such as going to church, I even thought about just going to Alcoholic’s Anonymous meetings, being that I attended them many years ago. As I went down the line, I could find anything where people simply come together just to come together, other than to bars and clubs and even then there is a motive and purpose to their gathering.

In a sense, protest gatherings, though they are often motivated by something, they rarely solve anything within the society except for agitate it. Yet, what is happening there is the very thing I am talking about. It is people communing together, gathering their energy together and sharing their energy with each other.

I then looked back at the other things I had thought of to have more personal interactions and I saw the same. It’s not really about the reason they gather there, it’s the gathering that is important.

At this point, I thought that I could go to all of these things, just as an observer and explorer. Not there to judge them or disagree with them, but simply to gather with them. Through this I could find more personal interactions and maybe even some friends.

I believe this is the only way to truly see what my journey has given me in relation to this aspect of my life and also to learn more about the true power that is within me.

Yet, I still have this virus to deal with so it seems I have to wait.

It is going to start become warm soon and I’m sure people are going to want to go out and do things. Gatherings aren’t always condemned. It’s in how they are gathering that is watched.

So, I will just go on “saving” myself while humanity continues to destroy themselves. As my heart has told me over and over again throughout the journey, “You’re not here to save humanity.”

But I can “save” myself, and by doing so, love others along the way.